Readers, meet Violet Beauregarde. You might remember her from the creeptastic classic, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory aka Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.Well, Noob Baby has decided that Violet is her new hero, so deliciously full of antioxidents. Hence, NB has tossed aside all prior … [Read more...]
Search Results for: label/Baby Hair
The Calm Before the Storm aka The One Where I Go Straight to Hell
Judging by the title, you’ve probably figured out how our adventures misadventures of preschool are going. I have to say that I was secretly on the same page with most of you who voted that Noob Baby would be an Adios Mother Effer or “AMFer” as you guys aptly named her in the last blog post, The 3 Ki … [Read more...]
Toys vs Mommy. And I’m no Micky Ward.
Mmm... chalk dust. Allegra. On the rocks. Make it dirty. Just so you know, adults do reside in this house. You can kind of spy evidence of an adultish coffee table there in the background (yeah, that sad little brown thing cowering in front of the miniature armchair ... which by the … [Read more...]
10 Things I Miss About Pregnancy
In no particular order ...1. Eating my weight in ice cream, chocolate, cakes, cookies, cupcakes, candy, Cheetos, and apparently anything that begins with a "C". In fact, I ate the letter C, too, and now the alphabet only has 25 letters. Suckers!2. People opening doors for me. This was sweet and all … [Read more...]
Cujo Not Jaws
Is there a full moon tonight, because Noob Baby is acting rabid again. Frothing at the mouth, crazed, inconsolable.Vicious? Absolutely.Ahh, but of course, those are the indicators that my darling little noob is teething. Again. Remember how last time I likened the teething process to Jaws? Well, I'd … [Read more...]
The Ultimate Chute Fighting Smackdown
One of the games we play at Gymboree is called Parachute. You may remember this from grade school:Pictured: Carefree kids playing Parachute. Not pictured: Terrified infants.Now, when you incorporate infants 6-12 months into the traditional game of Parachute, all bets are off. Parachute is no longer … [Read more...]
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