To Compare or Not Compare, That is the Question

NB2.0 circa 3 days ago

NB2.0 just turned 16-months-old, and the most exciting development right now (besides getting in three canines simultaneously and drooling like a bloodhound) is that she’s learning more words! Sometimes learning a new word is something she practices for about a week and then one morning she’s got it. Other times, she’ll pull a Word Ninja on us and parrot a word out of nowhere and make our jaws drop. Hi-Ya!! This morning NB2.0 was practicing the word “shoes,” which she {Read More}

The Great Baby Gate of China

babygate

Awhile ago I expressed via Facebook my dissatisfaction with our baby gate arrangement at the Noob house. Both Noob Daddy and I didn’t want to deal with babyproofing the whole house (Second Child Syndrome), so we agreed to leave our combined kitchen/family room as the demilitarization zone (free territory), and instead, install baby gates at other high value checkpoints throughout the house. Basically, those doorways were selected simply because they fit the width of our junky 5-year-old baby gates. Read: {Read More}

The Most Important Parenting Advice in the World … Ever.

Someone really special came up with a really self-important book.

When you have your second child, there’s an innate part of you that wants to go back and fix some of the “mistakes” from the first time around. Maybe … “mistakes” sounds too critical, but there’s definitely the thought that crosses your mind like, “Mmmm, I probably won’t layer her bangs again with child safety scissors.” Part of you may want to chillax more and enjoy the ride. Take the stick out and loosen up. You realize that you don’t {Read More}

Gerber Turkey Dinner Will Not Send Your Kid to Therapy: Mommy Martyrdom and Homemade Baby Food

JuneCleaverbabyfood

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I have some sort of mommy bipolar disorder thing going on. Do you ever feel this way… Like one day I’m June Cleaver Super Mommy on a mission to bake bread, crochet diapers and homeschool all the children on my block. And then, as if someone’s flipped the Jekyll switch, I’m a total Mommy drop out… chain smoking by the side of the house and burning all my cookbooks as I swig Grey Goose from {Read More}

Oh, You Thought I Was All Done Talking About Poop?

puss_in_boots_big_eyes_antonio_banderas_shrek_01

There’s a moment in parenthood when I feel totally incompetent, helpless, and debilitated. I kind of just stand there breathing deeply, saying to myself Whoooaa… ok. Ok. Ok. Whooooaaa.  I get the shivers, zone out, and have an out of body experience — the kind where my soul flies out and floats above my body and watches me standing idly in pseudo shock. The only way I know how to snap out of the whole freakout is to give myself {Read More}

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