The Great Baby Gate of China


Awhile ago I expressed via Facebook my dissatisfaction with our baby gate arrangement at the Noob house. Both Noob Daddy and I didn’t want to deal with babyproofing the whole house (Second Child Syndrome), so we agreed to leave our combined kitchen/family room as the demilitarization zone (free territory), and instead, install baby gates at other high value checkpoints throughout the house. Basically, those doorways were selected simply because they fit the width of our junky 5-year-old baby gates. Read: {Read More}

The Most Important Parenting Advice in the World … Ever.

Someone really special came up with a really self-important book.

When you have your second child, there’s an innate part of you that wants to go back and fix some of the “mistakes” from the first time around. Maybe … “mistakes” sounds too critical, but there’s definitely the thought that crosses your mind like, “Mmmm, I probably won’t layer her bangs again with child safety scissors.” Part of you may want to chillax more and enjoy the ride. Take the stick out and loosen up. You realize that you don’t {Read More}

Gerber Turkey Dinner Will Not Send Your Kid to Therapy: Mommy Martyrdom and Homemade Baby Food


Lately, I’ve been wondering if I have some sort of mommy bipolar disorder thing going on. Do you ever feel this way… Like one day I’m June Cleaver Super Mommy on a mission to bake bread, crochet diapers and homeschool all the children on my block. And then, as if someone’s flipped the Jekyll switch, I’m a total Mommy drop out… chain smoking by the side of the house and burning all my cookbooks as I swig Grey Goose from {Read More}

Oh, You Thought I Was All Done Talking About Poop?


There’s a moment in parenthood when I feel totally incompetent, helpless, and debilitated. I kind of just stand there breathing deeply, saying to myself Whoooaa… ok. Ok. Ok. Whooooaaa.  I get the shivers, zone out, and have an out of body experience — the kind where my soul flies out and floats above my body and watches me standing idly in pseudo shock. The only way I know how to snap out of the whole freakout is to give myself {Read More}

Upstanding Baby Sleeps Through the Night, Causes Mom to Seek Therapy

Upstanding Baby Winner

I hate to admit it, but I’m kind of superstitious. And I’m pretty sure there’s a superstition that says you’re not supposed to go bragging about how great things are going with your 5-month-old. Because that means my amazing baby, who is sleeping through the night, is suddenly going to cease all amazing activity and wake up every hour from now on, right? Well, sucks to that superstition, I say. {Throwing salt over my shoulders} {Making sign of the cross} {Read More}

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