Happy Sunday! Back from the trenches of Ferberland. Just when Noob Daddy and I were starting to get a little bit cocky that our Noob Baby might be above the curve on sleep training, she decided to wake up at 4 am and cry-it-out she did! With passion, might I add. Poor thing…
She cried for an hour, and I went in and checked on her 3 times from 4-5 am. It was definitely hard, but she is learning to fall asleep on her own. My back thanks her for it! Her naps averaged about 10 minutes of crying, which is already an improvement from the first two days. This morning, it took only 8 minutes for her to fall asleep for the morning nap!
Well, here’s to hoping this training pays off. Are you attempting a sleep revolution with your baby? I would love to hear about it!
We are on night 3 with the cio method. This is by far the worst it has been. Hubby and I are veteran parents with teenagers but our sweet girl has proven to be a stubborn and persistent little darling. I’m here crying along with her but I know it will pay off. Just trying to remember that this is as much for her benefit as it is for the rest of our family. Self soothing is a necessary life skill. Good luck to all the parents out there. Hopefully, restful nights are in all of our futures.
Help…9 mth old baby girl had 1 nite of Ferber method…cried all up for 1.5 hrs. Painful for me, but did work. Problem is that have tried this today for naps & as soon as she sees her cot she freaks. Will not settle. Have had to give up eventually for the 3 naps I tried to get her to have. She is miserable and overtired. Am very hesitant about doing this for day naps, as all O have is a very tired and cranky baby girl.
It has been almost 2 mothns, sorry about the delay in a response! I am sure your baby is sleeping differently by now! But just in case No, standing by her crib and soothing her while not picking her up is not considered CIO. You are there for her and she knows you are there, and putting her down awake and staying with her till she is calm, or even staying until she is all the way to sleep is a good way to help her learn to fall asleep in the early mothns. I hope you are both doing well!@ Jess: I am sure your son’s sleeping habits have changed a bit by now, and I understand that you do not want your older son woken up while the younger son learns to sleep better. If he is still not sleeping through the night, keep in mind that many 6 month babes do need to eat 1-2 in the night. Or if you are ready for some sleep training, perhaps you can start on a weekend, or a night where your older son can sleep over at a relatives or friends house for a night or two? This may get you through the first and possibly hardest nights. Hope all is well!@ Jenn: I am sorry that it has been so long with no reply. I am sure that things have changed since your post, and really do hope that things have smoothed out by now! You can try to sleep train at night and not at naptime. Different parts of the brain handle each type of sleep, and usually you can work on one area at a time with success. It may make it feel less overwhelming to work on one at a time too. It is also common for babies to cry for 5-10 minutes before falling asleep at night, and this can continue for quite a while. If you are still struggling, since it would have been for a few mothns, I would recommend That you consider a sleep consultation package. Here is a link to services, and I do hope that you are sleeping well and do not need it! @ Mama Jo: Thank you for sharing your successes! I can not stress enough that every baby and every family is different, and you have to do what works for you, and baby!
I wrote the earlier question but thought I should add some details. My little one just turned 5 months, he’s ebf, and he was starting to get on a nice schedule where he would wake at 7, and nap at 9, 1, 5 and then bed at 8 but only if someone was holding him. Before he was 4 months he was on an EASY schedule but at 4 months he got sick and I’m afraid we got into the the habit of nursing to sleep each time:( He refuses a paci now but still gets partially swaddled and we follow a nice routine each time bf sleep. Do you think I might need to try to put him down earlier or later for naps/bed? He actually seems to be developing a fear of going to sleep which breaks my heart:(
Hi, I love your sight! I feel worse and worse as I read everything sleep related though:( I’m on day 4 of sleep training following Ferber approach. My 5 month old is crying 4-5 hours each time and it does not seem to be getting any better. I’ve read Ferber and weisbluth and am trying to follow it exactly but I’m about to go insane listening to my sweet baby scream his head off for hours:( It seems to actually make him more angry when I go in to “comfort” him. I’ve taken him to dr to rule out any medical conditions, and I always make sure he is well fed and has a dry diaper. Help! Should I just give up and allow him to sleep while nursing as he wants to do or keep persisting and hope it gets better????
Our almost 5 1/2 month has started to go all over the place with his sleep patterns. He has never been a great sleeper from the beginning. We used the swing for naps for the first few months, and even for his first long chunk of night sleep, at which point he’d transfer to his co-sleeper cot for the night. Around 3 1/2 months we made a lot of changes: we put him in his own room for the first week; then we made all his sleep happen in his crib and no more swing; then we removed his swaddle and replaced it with a Zippadee Zip sleep sack, and lastly we stopped rocking him to sleep and used the PUPD technique to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. This all happened over the course of 4 – 6 weeks and he was doing pretty well until last week when he suddenly started waking up 4 times a night to feed (he’s EBF). He was usually waking 2 – 3 times and was at least lasting 4-6 hours on the first stretch of sleep. Now he is waking anywhere from every 2 – 4 hours (and it’s killing me slowly, I might add!). To top it off, he is not a great napper in that his nap times are all over the place. Sometimes he sleeps 30 minutes, sometimes 40 or 45, and on the odd occasion his first nap in the morning will last 1.25 to 1.5 hours; however, the afternoon naps (usually 2 but sometimes 3 additional naps) only last 30 – 45 minutes. Also, he has started to cry when I put him down for his naps awake now, which is a new phenomenon.
My doctor says that he could genuinely be hungry and doesn’t feel I should expect him to sleep through the night at this point. I should add that I’ve introduced rice cereal for breakfast (up to 1 tbsp now) and sweet potato for dinner (1 tbsp). Also, he eats every 3 hours but I assume this is because he eats after each nap and doesn’t nap long enough to get him to 4 hours.
Anyway….I’d like to try Dr. Ferber’s CIO method for his naps first but don’t know if this is an option. Should I CIO for both naps and for night sleep right from the get go or can I do naps first and then night sleep? How long did it take for your noob to adjust using the CIO method? If he’s going down fine for naps and for sleep, do I just CIO for wakings? If so, how do I extend a nap using CIO (assuming he went down awake and on his own)? Sorry about the 20 questions – just seriously thinking about this as an option and want to make sure I do it right from the get go.
I am planning on trying the Ferber method right after Christmas as my husband is home for a week and we can both do duty. But our problem is this: our 5 month old is a tummy sleeper and she is constantly rolling over and waking herself up. Should we be letting her CIO on her back since she can’t roll back? She has not fallen asleep on her back on her own – ever.
After 1 year of co-sleeping with my baby, I decided it’s time to try something different. Co-sleeping never worked for us because LO would take forever to fall asleep and wouldn’t stay asleep (waking 3-10 times a night).
I’m on night two and it’s not going well AT ALL. On first night, he fell asleep after about a total of 30 minutes crying. Tonight, he’s been going at it for more than an hour. Since it’s Day 2, I’m now going in at 12 minute intervals. He is standing up in his crib, crying so I just place him on his back and say “It’s time for dodo…” and leave the room. He’s back on his feet and shrieking before I even have time to leave the room.
Is there anything I could be doing better? Is it possible that this technique just doesn’t work on him? I feel really, really bad. I feel like he hates me 🙁
Hi Noob Mom,
Thanks for the great blog! I am a first time mom, my daughter is now 5mo. I just started sleep training and am now on day 4. I’m sooo glad you posted your outcome! Looks very similar to ours at the moment. Although I must say tonight was a tougher night for us. I’m not sure why! We did the routine, she was changed & fed, but we ended up going backwards. Her first 3 nights she cried for 36min/21min/14min. Now on day 4, she cried for 28min. I hope this isn’t a negative sign. But I see light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to your blog! Keep it up 🙂
Ali Tong says
We are going to try to Feberize our baby (15 wks old) right after we get home from Christmas vacation (I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to try it while staying in a different house/different routine, etc) My little guy is getting up 4-5x a night, usually. (sometimes more- 11x in one night last week, but that may have been a growth spurt)
We put him in his crib awake, but tired, and he will put himself to sleep. Right now we swaddle and use a pacifier, but I am rethinking using both of those, and when we start Ferberizing I might just go cold-turkey quitting both of those- is that what you’d recommend? I am just thinking that if he is to learn to self-sooth he might want to suck on his fingers/thumb, especially if we get rid of the pacifier
Right now he will not fall asleep w/o being swaddled (nap or nighttime) The problem is not getting him to sleep, it’s keeping him asleep, I am just not sure if he’s hungry (because he will eat whenever I offer the breast) I don’t know if he can go the whole night w/o eating. I’m not opposed to letting him cry-it-out if he fed/dry/etc, but I am not sure when I should give in and feed him and when I should just let him CIO. Any advice on this?
Thanks in advance,
Noob Mommy says
Ali – I believe Ferber recommends sleep training at around 5-6 months. At that age, our little ones are capable of sleeping through the night (5+ hours) because their bellies are able to hold more nutrients. You may want to consider waiting a month before you begin just so you give yourself a little more peace of mind knowing he can physically go for an extended period of time without needing a middle of the night feed. On the other hand, waking 4-5 times up to 11 x a night is pretty much a sure sign he’s not hungry. When you feed him during the night, is he just snacking and falling back to sleep? I imagine he’s not eating a full feed each time. That is the best indicator of whether or not he’s actually hungry or using you as a soothing device. I’ve heard wonderful things about swaddling up to 8 months or so (basically when they can get themselves out of the swaddle). Many parenting experts swear by this for as long as they want to be swaddled. As for the pacifier … if you do decide to Ferberize … I would go with no paci. It is much easier to have one less habit to break while you’re going through the training. And, like you said, they can always find their thumb if they need that comfort. Ferber doesn’t recommend parents going in during the sleep training process and replacing the binky every time it falls out. It’s too confusing for the child. I think your instincts on that are just right! Good luck with your decision! If you decide to sleep train now or later on, please come back and share your success with us!
Hi Ali, I know it’s been a really long time since you posted this but I’m currently in the same situation and am wondering how sleep training went for you. My little girl is 15 weeks. She was sleeping through the night (9 hours!) until a month ago, exactly the time we moved her to her crib. Now she’s waking many times every night and it seems to be getting worse. She will only go back to sleep if we give her a pacifier. Obviously that’s a bad habit since she can’t replace it herself. Did you end up letting your son CIO? Did you quit the pacifier and swaddle cold turkey? Thanks in advance for your advice!!
Just found your tips on how to Ferberize. Currently on night 1…minute 12. 🙁 It’s breaking my heart.
Noob Mommy says
Chas – Good luck hun! I know the feeling and had it for 11 days! Hang in there. It will pay off and you will regain some sanity and beauty rest. Keep us updated!
Hi Noob mommy, first time reading your blog and so far, I’m loving it esp. the Ferber sections since I’m on day 3 now. Just wanted to ask you about this method since I didnt read the book and just picking up info here and there online. When we go in to console our baby, are we allowed to touch and talk to them after doing it the first time? Thanks!
I remember those nights as well. Hang in there~ it will be worth it very soon.
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I finally gave sleep training my 100% attention a few months ago. It’s one of the hardest things to do, but so worth it! We did cio, too 🙂
Good luck and it gets better–I promise 🙂
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