The one thing more important than Noob Baby sleeping through the night, is NB sleeping through the nap! Or, so I’m told by all these infant sleep experts I’ve read. Nap is the Holy Grail. Nap is more valuable than your life or mine. In fact, Nap in its purest form, can only be traded for unicorn horn dust.
So, I ask… when it’s either 9ish, 12:30ish, or 4-5ish, please kindly turn off your cellphones, put your car in neutral, disassemble your leaf blower, and just overall…shut the hell up. Thank you.
Why this demanding negativity you might ask, Noob Mommy? Well, because today is apparently Monday – the day Random Guy shows up with his loud clanking rusty ladder and slams it against the nursery window. Yes, and you guessed it, the clock read 9ish… the exact moment in which I was on lap 37 of rocking NB to sleep. Appppparrreeennttly, we needed our window planter boxes repainted TODAY.
I *heart* our HOA.
Unfortunately though, he refused to clean out the black widow nests in the planter boxes while he was up there. The nerve……
I wonder why they can’t just leave a friendly note before they do these random things to our condo. Well, you might be thinking I’m overreacting right? What a nice fellow to stop by and paint for us.
That is true. However, I will ask the jury to please consider Exhibit B:
Random Concrete Driller Guy. RCDG showed up about 3 weeks ago and decided to drill up the nice, innocent, minding-its-own-business sidewalk in front of our front door, which in our tiny condo, is quite near our nursery. I shall ask the jury to also consider that the time was 9ish AND 12:30ish… two NAP TIMES!
Appppparrreeennttly, the sidewalk was a tripping hazard and needed to be redone. Oh, I must have overlooked that considerate heads-up note warning me of EXTREMELY LOUD DRILLING FOR SEVERAL HOURS OF THE DAY RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR, SUCKA!
Ok, ok…I’m being too anal. But would you consider the next exhibit…anal as well?
Exhibit C: Mass high-school Fight Club riot outside (yes, you guessed it) my FRONT DOOR. On this Friday night, our lovely Emo high school neighbor kid must have pissed off the T-Birds at Rydell High, because just after NB had gone to bed for the night, our front driveway-ish was the new Hollywood backlot for Fight Club 2: High School Musical Rumble in the Burbs. Participants? Oh…maybe 20 ish. And, yes, the Pink Ladies were there as well to cheer them on.
Let me just say that I do not live in the ghetto by any means. So… Unexpected? Yes. Pissed Off? Double Yes.
Now, these have just been a few of the Nap Town Guest Stars as of late. And here are the recurring cast of characters (you know the ones that make the opening credits):
Street Sweeper Guy
Neighbor’s Trash Can Cleaner Guy
Angry 3:30 am Newspaper Guy
Hedgetrimming Picker Upper Guy
I hope by now, my case has been made and the jury finds the verdict in my favor. So, please kindly shut the heck up when passing through Nap Town. Thank you.