Back in the olden days, Noob Baby used to sleep all day in her bouncy seat. She loved it so much that she insisted on sleeping there at night too. It sure was nice always knowing where to find her.
Allow Noob Baby to run around in circles at dangerously high speeds. (It is scientifically proven that this causes the sensation of moving forward and traveling great distances).
Her will was too strong. She couldn’t be fooled. So, Noob pleaded and begged. “It’s my destiny,” she reasoned in a wistful voice. All she wanted was to spread her wings, cover more ground, conquer/terrorize more territory.
So, Noob went from bouncy seat to play place to jumperoo to around-we-go to …. jail. We thought Jail would definitely buy us a good couple months before we had to suck it up and baby-proof the place already.
Well, it looks like Noob Baby’s Manifest Destiny can no longer be stifled. As of this week, she is a walker. Her westward expansion continues. On foot.
And instead of baby-proofing, I’ve decided just to give her the keys to the place and charge her rent. Well, wouldn’t you?