Dear General Mills,
I am writing you this letter as a mother brought to tears from sheer gratitude. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you for creating the most amazing cereal on earth in this galaxy. Freakin Cheerios! Absolutely genius.
There is something so profoundly magical about those unpretentious O’s. Do you even realize that your humble little product is the only thing allowing me to get through a meal and go out to a civilized dining establishment right now? How do toasted whole grain oats calm a maniac down in mere seconds? You have really struck upon a tremendous formula here. Edible treat + entertainment. I applaud you.
Dear Lord, I pray you will shower the earth with Cheerios today.Whatever the secret ingredient is (“vitamin fortified oats”), keep it coming General. I’m not going to question the brains behind the genius, the method behind the madness, or these magical “vitamins”. All I know is, when I sprinkle Cheerios on Noob Baby’s head, I mean… not saying I do that OFTEN or anything… she transforms into a happy, cooing cherubic angel.
High-pitched screams – GONE.
Inexplicable tears – GONE.
Smelly diaper – GONE. Well, maybe not the last one. But I’m confident with more research….
By the way, have you considered updating your marketing campaign? I’m pretty certain a refocus on the magical qualities of your product will really boost sales. Here’s just a rough mock up I pulled together for you:
Now, I have one little question. Is it possible for a baby to become obese eating Cheerios, but have remarkably low cholesterol levels? I’m fairly certain Noob Baby would be an excellent candidate for this study.
Well, I’m off to go throw out all unnecessary crap in my pantry now – the homemade organic baby food and Gerber food stuffs. Noob Baby and I are hitting up Costco today to buy enough Cheerios to get us through a natural disaster.
Oh, and Noob Baby wanted to say thanks too.
Your biggest fan,
I pity da foo dat touches mah Cheerioz!
Oh my gosh, isn’t this the truth? Cheerios are manna from heaven for sure. Yelling in church? Cheerios. Threatening tantrum at the grocery? Cheerios. Seriously, General Mills does not exploit this aspect enough!
Your little girl is SO adorable – love her little pigtails in these pics!
I know, Cheerios are a miracle cure for every mother & child!
She is adorable!
I seriously believe Cheerio’s helped me keep my sanity during my kids formative years.
Lol, so funny! I wish cheerios worked with my little one. She reacts the same way as Noob baby when a new interesting treat is introduced to her but once the novelty wears off she get’s all snotty and turns her head or uses her finger to push down on them and launch the offending food item off of her highchair tray and into kitchen “space”. Those pictures of your little girl are too cute! She is such a beautiful baby!
You have the cutest child ever! And you know, I’m with Noob Baby. Sometimes even I can be calmed (heck, overjoyed!) by snacking on those “vitamin-fortified oat” snacks:)
I am passing this along to my friends at General Mills. I hope it shall rain Cheerios from the sky for the Noob Family!!!!!!
LOL – I pity da foo! Love it! I thought I was seeing double for a second. Another Asian baby in the exact same Chicco highchair made me readjust my contacts and check again. Lexi and I are getting ready to head out to the grocery store now with Cheerios on our list…along with some more Easter candy. I can’t decide!