Shitzkrieg 2012

The aftermath.

That’s what I get for bringing God into it. Clearly, God chose sides today. And he was not rooting for team Mommy. I should’ve known as I was making threats this morning on our way to school that all this punishment talk was going to come back and bite me in the ass. BIG TIME. So let me set the stage here. Noob Baby asked me to make her an egg for breakfast. The egg requests are few and far {Read More}

Noob Mommy’s Guide to Choosing a Preschool

Photo courtesy of  Cynulliad Cymru

A few days ago, a family member was asking for suggestions on how to find a good quality preschool — one that isn’t just a glorified day care. While it seems there is this debate between choosing a fun preschool or an academic one, there really isn’t any reason why a respectable preschool can’t be both. As a parent, you should expect learning to be exciting and engaging in any school environment. The teacher inside me cringes whenever I hear {Read More}

The Calm Before the Storm aka The One Where I Go Straight to Hell

I'm gonna make her an offer she can't refuse.

Judging by the title, you’ve probably figured out how our adventures misadventures of preschool are going. I have to say that I was secretly on the same page with most of you who voted that Noob Baby would be an Adios Mother Effer or “AMFer” as you guys aptly named her in the last blog post, The 3 Kinds of Preschoolers. +1 to reader Ashley, who was the only one who guessed she’d be the Calm Before the Storm! So, {Read More}

The 3 Kinds of Preschoolers

Noob Preschooler circa age 3

According to Noob Baby’s teacher there are three kinds of first-day preschoolers: The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle and not one look back (aka Adios Mother Effer). The one who rips the window treatments off the walls and cries enough to break levies (aka The Hurricane). The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle, and then realizes three weeks later that this ain’t no playdate. Cue The Hurricane. (aka Calm {Read More}

The Totally Terrifying Three’s

Hey, look at me! I'm playing Jedi mind tricks on you right now.

I don’t know who came up with the term Terrible Two’s, but whoever did, clearly never met my daughter. Otherwise, he would have aptly pissed on the term Terrible Two’s and immediately warned the world about its much nastier successor, the Totally Terrifying Three’s. I sort of imagined that once Noob Baby blew out the candles on her third birthday, the terrible two’s would ceremoniously be shed off like a dried up old cocoon. There would be a collective sigh {Read More}

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