For those of you uninterested in CIO, Ferber, and all things sleep training, here’s a link to one of my favorite Onion articles! Hope it gets a ROFL out of ya.
This post is a follow-up to our Sleep Training Adventure with Noob Baby. I’d like to share our results for the noob parents out there who have similar sleep troubles. I know when I was considering sleep training, I was searching everywhere for someone’s play-by-play. I’m anal like that. So here’s my play-by-play with a big Noob Mommy Seal of Approval.
Note: Noob Mommy is a self-proclaimed softy pretending to be a hard ass. So, for all you softies out there, the training IS hard to bear (think Chinese water torture), IS going to make you feel like the Stalin of parenting, and IS totally worth a shot if you want your baby to be a happy, independent sleeper.
for Noob Baby at 6 months
(not recommended for babies under 4 mos age)
Night 1
Cried for 31 min. at bedtime before finally falling asleep.
Slept through the night until 6 am. (10 hrs nighttime sleep)
Day 2
Nap 1: Cried for 45 min.
Nap 2: Cried for 25 min.
Nap 3: Didn’t sleep.
Bedtime: Fell asleep after bottle.
Slept through night till 6:30 am (11.5 hours nighttime sleep)
Day 3
Averaged 15 min. of crying for all naps & bedtime.
Woke at 4 am. Cried for 1 hr. Woke for the day at 8:00 am. (11 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 4
Naps 1 & 2: No crying. Fell asleep within minutes.
Bedtime: Cried for 8 min.
Woke at 5:00 am. Cried for 45 min. Woke for the day at 7:00 am. (10 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 5
Naps 1 & 2: Cried for 5 min. Played in crib for awhile, then fell asleep.
Bedtime: Cried for 20 min.
Slept through night till 6:30 am. (11 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 6
Nap 1: Cried for 45 min. Didn’t sleep.
Nap 2: Cried for 5 min.
Nap 3: No crying.
Bedtime: Cried for 25 min.
Slept through night till 5:30 am. (9.5 hrs. nighttime sleep)
*After Day 6, significant improvement! Much less crying at naps & bedtime.*
Day 7
Naps 1, 2 & 3: Cried for 10 min.
Bedtime: Cried for 5 min.
Slept through night till 6:00 am. (9.5 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 8
Naps 1 & 2: Cried for less than 5 min.
Bedtime: Cried for 25 min.
Woke at 4 am. Fell back asleep at 4:30. Woke for the day at 7 am (11.5 hrs. nighttime sleep)
*After Day 8, biggest improvement! Noob Baby plays and falls asleep on her own in the crib*
Day 9
Naps 1 & 2: No crying. Averages 20 min. of playing in crib before falling asleep.
Bedtime: Laid in bed for 5 min.
Slept through night till 5:30 am. (10 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 10
Naps 1, 2 & 3: No crying. Averages 15 min. of playing in crib before falling asleep.
Bedtime: Laid in bed for 5 min.
Slept through night till 6:30 am. (11.5 hrs. nighttime sleep)
Day 11
Naps 1, 2 & 3: No crying. Averages less than 5 min. of playing in crib before falling asleep.
Bedtime: Laid in bed for 5 min.
Slept through night till 5:30 am. (9.5 hrs. nighttime sleep)
At this time, we set Noob Baby down in the crib fully awake with her pacifier (which she uses only at naps & bedtime). She normally plays for a few minutes, then rolls over and falls alseep on her own. No more fussing, rocking, or middle of the night waking.
While this sleep training isn’t designed for all babies, it’s worth trying for at least a week if you notice tiny improvements each day. Please don’t try this for babies younger than 4 months old. Good luck!
I’m thinking of starting sleep training, she’s 5.5 months old but she’s still nursing at least 2 times a night and is actually eating. Is there any advice for dropping the nighttime feeds? The book is in the mail but we desperately need to get started!
We have just started sleep training (yesterday after I read an article). This is so helpful! I have a question though. When noob baby wakes up in the middle of the night and you start the intervals over again, can you replace the pacifier? My baby always falls asleep with it in and we usually replace it when we go in during the night.
Thanks so much for this post. I just found it on Night 6 of sleep training our 7 month old. She’s still having a tough time with bedtime and I’d been losing hope since so many people say it only takes 3-4 days. Glad to know we may be turning a corner soon.
We used this method with my son when he was 5.5mo old and it was a breath of fresh air. The process was tough, but we are all benefitting from it. He’s 2 now and goes down with zero issues for his daily 3hr nap and sleeps for about 11.5hrs every night. He’s a happy, affectionate, smart Mommy’s boy and I attribute a lot of that to how well he sleeps. This was the best parenting decision we’ve made to date! Thanks for sharing!!
loving your blog as i work my way through the insanity/joy of sleep training. my baby is wanting to nap for only 20 minutes sometimes and i’m not sure if i should get her up or start the cycle all over again to encourage longer naps. any advice?
A friend of mine directed me to your site tonight is Day 1 of sleep training. Is it normal for LO to soothe alone for 45 mins? Also when did the awakenings stop? First time mommy
A friend of mine directed me to your site tonight is Day 1 of sleep training. Is it normal for LO to soothe alone for 45 mins? Also when did the awakenings stop?
Hi noob mommy,
Your page is a great inspiration to me, which I don’t get when reading a parenting book. Thanks for the detailed update. What I want to know is, did you sleep train both night and nap at the same time?
I hope you still see this even though this post is 6 years old. I followed your steps on sleep training and it’s gone so well. Thank you! BUT…my kid won’t nap more than 35 minutes! it’s really screwing with me getting him on a schedule. he wakes up and goes to bed around the same time everyday but I can’t get him on a set schedule when his naps fluctuate so much. I do leave him in his bed up to 30 minutes to allow him to go back to sleep, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. any tips or tricks? my first son did the same thing and just grew out of it eventually but I’m hoping there’s something more I can do than just wait. thanks again you’re awesome!
We did CIO with our 5 month old and overall it’s going pretty well. My question is what to do when she wakes early? Our schedule works off a 7am wake up and for the most part, she wakes around this time. But lately she’s been waking at 5am, not hungry (I tried she won’t eat) and she fusses on and off. Sometimes she falls asleep until 6. Do we move bedtime up or try to keep her awake until her regular first nap?
Hey Norah and noob mom
I was wondering what you ended up doing about this issue. We plan to start ferbetizing this coming weekend and I foresee the same issue. We’ve typically been starting our day between 7-7:30. I know baby whisperer is a ‘routine’ not a ‘schedule’ but starting our day at 5 or 6 will really throw it off. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Hey Kirsten
My babe has never slept until 7 and I’ve come to accept that she probably never will. She usually wakes between 6 and 6:30 and doesn’t have her first bottle until 7 followed by solids, etc and then nap between 9 and 10. She is rarely ever hungry immediately on waking. We still follow a wake eat play sleep schedule.
Noob Mommy, i absolutely adore your site and humor! I’m really excited to try this method out, my son is 11 weeks old and usually our first stretch of the night is good, anywhere from 4-6ish hours but then wakes about every 2 hours till he wakes for the day. Also, we are co-sleeping which works for convenience given his room is on opposite side of the house (new house this wont be an issue) but I think he’s waking bc he smells me or just never re-settles. My concern is I know we’ve got a nurse to sleep association I’m wanting to break but then there’s co-sleeping…where do I start or should I just do it all at once or shape our routine. Planning to have his crib in our room until space permits (note to self, never move and remodel w an infant) ….help!
Hi! I have a question on CIO. My 3 and a half month old daughter has no problems falling asleep, did the CIO methods for naps and bed, worked great for a month, she was sleeping almost 12 hrs! Now, I find she’s waking up more frequently, last night after 45min, then again at 1 am and 4 am. I’m breastfeeding so I do feed her because it settles her, but I’m not sure if I can do CIO in the middle of the night for such a young one? I figured since she was able to sleep through the night for the last few weeks, she should be able to go back to sleep thru CIO, but it seems not the case, in fact I feel like we are reversing. So, can CIO be done in the middle of the night too or should I still be feeding her if she wakes at those times? It’s so frustrating, just when I think I know her and think I’ve done a good job at creating a routine, she goes and changes it haha. I guess that’s what a mother expects.
Thanks so much in advance,
Hi Leah, I’m breast feeding too, around that same age my son had a growth spurt and started feeding more frequently so you might be having the same problem. Seems to have settled down now, you might have to ride this stage a bit before you get back to normal. x
Oh, and I forgot to ask…since he doesn’t make it through the 3 hour schedule, what do I do when he only naps for 30 minutes. He can only stay awake for about 1-1.5 hours. So he’s tired by the time he’s supposed to eat…I just don’t know what to do! Thank you.
Hi Noob Mommy – I love your site. I’m a second time mom. My first son was an angel baby and had no sleep issues. My new son, who is 12 weeks old, already sleeps through the night from 8-4 or 8-5, eats and then goes back to sleep until 7. It’s a perfect schedule and I can just lay him down and he goes right to sleep. He pretty much begs to go to bed at night. BUT…he is a horrible napper during the day. He goes right down to nap ( I put him in awake with his paci and he’ll fall right to sleep) but after 30-35 minutes every single time, he wakes up and cries and will not go back to sleep even if I let him cry or give him his paci back. If I pick him up and put him in his swing or take him in the stroller or go run errands, he’ll sleep for another 2-3 hours. I know he is barely 3 months old, but do you have any suggestions on how to get him to nap longer? I have to go back to work in 2 weeks and I don’t want him to get used to being in the swing or napping in the car. Is this just a phase that he will grow out of? I have read Babywise, Healthy Sleep habits, and Baby Whisperer and I am a huge proponent of schedules so it’s hard for me that he’s not falling into one (well, he’s on his own 30 minute nap schedule I guess! ) I know I should be thankful that we all get a good night’s sleep, but I feel like he’s not getting healthy sleep during the day. Thank you for your help! ~ Jamie
I know this an old blog, but I just recently had a baby and found this site. By the way, love the site! I actually woke my baby girl up a few times from laughing! Anyway, I was wondering what kind of sleep problems you were having with your baby that made you start sleep training. My baby girl just turned 3 months and is now only taking 20-30 minute naps and only sleeps with me. I never planned on co-sleeping but right now it’s the only way I can get sleep. She was sleeping in her swing for all naps and sleeping 6 hours a night in the swing. However recently all naps have become almost non existent and bedtime is miserable that ends with me putting her in bed with me. As a side note she was sleeping propped up in the swing because of reflux. We are on medicine and it seems to be better and she is ok laying flat now. So just wondering if your baby had similar sleep issues or what was your driving force, because I’m at my wits end and think I’m going to start training soon. Thanks for any advice!
Ashley- We finally decided to sleep train after months of relentless rocking. Rocking for every nap, after every wake up (40 minutes later) and at every bedtime. Then when she woke up during the night every couple hours, wouldn’t go back to sleep without at least 30 minutes more of rocking. So if you calculate all that rocking with actual sleep time, you can see why we were ALL miserable. I didn’t think I could do it until I spoke to an old friend who had gone through the same thing with his first. His encouragement and positive results gave us the courage to at least try it for a week. After a week of seeing gradual results, we continue on till about 11 days or so. At that point, the proof was in the puddin! Since sleep training isn’t recommended until around 6+ months, I’d wait but definitely start thinking seriously about what type of sleep conditions you want to be permanent (or ideal in your mind). If you don’t want to be co-sleeping for a long time, then try not to create those “habits” if you don’t have to. If co-sleeping is something you have always wanted and cherished (and your partner is on board), then by all means, embrace it as many families do. Moral of the story is… just be prepared to live with the “accidental” habits we create as parents (needing to be nursed to sleep, pacifier, etc. etc.) All those habits can be unlearned, but it just takes time and maybe some tears 🙂 Good luck and congrats!
I don’t understand why, after all the research showing how harmful CIO is, there are people still recommending it. This is a study from Harvard on how harmful it is: http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
If you don’t believe Harvard scientists, I’m not sure what logic you’re using to back up your decision to promote this method. Many, many studies link this type of abandonment with violent behavior in children and adults.
Here’s another link with some good bullet points: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/
This comment is not meant as an attack. Parents need accurate, up to date information on why this method is no longer recommended and why it intuitively goes against our instincts to let our babies cry.
Those who have already practiced it are not bad parents – they were simply working with the information they were given. But those who have the opportunity owe it to both their children, and other people’s children – our society at large, to stop this harmful practice and begin the healing that needs to take place.
From one parent to another, please practice peace.
Nienna – Have you seen the latest research on CIO summarized in TIME Magazine: It’s Ok To Let Babies Cry It Out At Bedtime This is a topic that has been disputed ad nauseum. If you do a thorough Google search or read a breadth of parenting books as I continue to do to better my knowledge on this topic, you will see that the research for and against CIO is not only a hot button issue, but one that continues to be disputed/refuted over and over. So, as a parent and one who has actually used the controlled comforting – progressive waiting approach with my own child, I have seen the miraculous benefits of using this strategy with my daughter. I don’t really know what “abandonment” practices you are referring to, but I can assure you that my very smart, healthy, happy and not violent child has benefited from our sleep training experience and has never been abandoned. In addition, there are also studies that discuss the long term ill effects of poor sleep habits in children and linking them to ADHD, learning difficulties, temperament problems, etc. as they get older. Have you read Ferber’s book as well as Dr. Weissbluth’s book regarding the effects of poor sleep on children? I also discovered this wonderful blog which you may want to visit to hear both sides of the research from a personal and scientific perspective: Science of Mom. I have a feeling from your comment that you have very much made up your mind about how you feel about CIO and no amount of personal or scientific research will convince you otherwise. But hopefully you will meet or hear from parents who have gone through this first-hand and can rave to you about how it has saved their lives, marriages, children etc. And that was the purpose of my original blog post … to share my great experience and provide positive support for other parents who were in the same helpless, debilitating situation I was in. I certainly believe that my post about this topic has provided peace for other parents out there.
Consider me a believer in the method. This is our 7th day, and Bug has been consistently sleeping through the night, a huge change from waking up every four hours. She is 4 1/2 months old, and we got the go-ahead from her pediatrician to start sleep training her.
Keys for us have been putting her to bed earlier, between 7:30 & 8:00, cutting out the feeding before laying her down, adding a dream feeding around 10:00, taking away the swaddle & the swing and getting her on a 4-hour EASY schedule.
Most days this week, I have had to wake her at 7:00 so I can feed her before I leave for work. Naps have been harder. My husband tries to stretch her to 9:00, but she’s usually falling asleep before then, and is hungry before 11:00, which is ok. She isn’t good at napping at daycare, too many distractions. 40 minutes is about as long as she’ll go. Monday and Tuesday, she was grumpy in the evening, but last night was much happier. We had a good walk around the neighborhood and lots of splish-splashing in the tubby. She didn’t cry when I laid her down, just rolled over on her side and played a little before falling asleep. She squawked once or twice at 2:00, but not even enough to wake her dad up. Overall, we’re very pleased.
Hi Noobmommy, I am the mother of two babies, boy and girl, they are now 5 and half months.Â
They used to fall asleep at the bottle or rocked to sleep. I then started putting them down when drowsy and with a pacifier and soon they were able to drift off to sleep after a few days of fussyin and a bit crying.Â
My question is do you have any advice to how to wean them off the pacifier when they reach 6 months? Because they still wake up several times (3 o 4 times at night) because it has fallen out.Â
Do you advise me to try to CIO method? Should I maybe put them ins seperate rooms when I try to train them? I am very scared of trying this method and so is my husband.Â
Hearing two babies cry is not easy at all!
Maybe is there a way we can wean them off the pacifier maybe in the day first during their naps? I have tried sometimes by patting them or massaging them but maybe they will get used to this as well?…
They go to bed at a decent time and they eat very well during the day formula and solids, they are of perfect weight and they are healthy. But somehow they can’t even do 6 hours stretches.
Thank you.Â
Hi — My son will be 5 months old in a week and for about 3 weeks now he has been sleeping terribly. He was always good for a 10-11 hr sleep at night waking for a binky 0-3 times per night. He goes to sleep between 7:30 and 8 pm every night. Lately he has been waking every 20minutes – an hour starting from 11:30 on the nose….we go in as usual insert the binky and he closes his eyes…then anywhere from 20 minutes to one hour he wakes again. We do this for a good 4-5 hr stretch. Not too sure what is going on b/c he has been sleeping great at night since about 9 weeks old. I am fine with going in to reinsert the binky a few times as we did with our other 3 children BUT i am not okay doing this constantly. Any ideas why this happening?? Should i consider sleep training?? he shares a room with his 3 year old sister so i am not crazy about that but i will do what i have to. Someone suggested we feed him the first time he wakes more than once in an hour…we tried this 2 nights in a row and it did the trick but i am scared to get into that habit now. Could this just be a phase…he self soothes at night and for naps. We just do his bedtime routine and place him in his crib fully awake. This is why i am stumped…i thought sleep training was more for kids who needed to be rocked or fed back to sleep…PLEASE HELP…lol!
Vicki- Ooh this is a tricky one! Since your LO has been sleeping so well in the past, and this sounds like a relatively new phase… I’d give it a little time before starting the sleep training. Check to make sure he’s feeling ok, no signs of illness, teething, etc. It’s possible he is going through a growth spurt or a developmental milestone (which can disrupt sleep). If it’s the growth spurt, then that first feed … or maybe even a late last feed before you go to bed, might tide him over. If you are certain it isn’t any sickness, teething, etc. and the pattern continues, then you can consider the sleep training. The thing with kids + sleep is, it never stays consistent!! Frustrating, I know. Even if they’ve “always been an excellent sleeper” most babies go through some phase where they fall out of it. And even after we sleep trained Noob Baby, she had bouts of poor sleep. It’s just part of parenthood. Let us know if things keep up, and then weigh your options for sleep training! Good luck!
Thanks so much for the advice!!! He has gotten better, slept thru friday, sat, sun and monday night–then bad night tuesday night…its like a roller coaster ride right now LOL!!! You are so right about once you figure them out BOOM they change. I agree with the advice you gave me since he is a self soother (minus the binky). thanks again 🙂
Hi there.  I’m hoping I didn’t miss an answer to these questions somewhere in the comments above, but two questions for you. First, what did you do when baby didn’t sleep at all for a nap?  Wait until the next scheduled nap time?  Or let her go down earlier the next time?  So like if she was supposed to nap at 9, but  never ended up napping, did you just get her up and then keep her up until the next nap time around 1? Secondly, I see where your little girl would wake early some mornings like anywhere from 5:30-6.  Did you just get her up then and start your day even though your goal was the 4-hr easy starting at 7? The issue we are dealing with right now is that our son will put himself to sleep at night (always) and naps (most of the time) but will not put himself BACK to sleep if he wakes in the night or mid-nap.  He also wakes early at times at around 5 or so, but we have a toddler as well so that’s a little too early for us 🙂  It’s not a hunger issue because he’s not been eating at night for about 7 weeks now.  Thanks for any thoughts you have.  I should also note he’s still been eating every 3-3.5 hours, but I think he could easily do a 4-hr easy but I’m just not sure since he naps only about 45 minutes at a time. Â
Hi Kristi – How old is your little guy? If he’s already 4 months, then you can definitely shift him to a 4-hr EASY schedule. As for sleep training and naps, if she didn’t nap… I would just get her up after 45 minutes (per Ferber’s directions) and then wait until the next nap time or when she seemed very tired. When she woke up at 5:30 or 6, I would usually wait a while and see if she was just fussing or if she was ready to be up for the day. I believe that as she got older … her morning wake up time would slowly get later and later. Currently it’s between 6:30-7 am. Even though the 4-hr EASY sample starts at 7:00 am, keep in mind that it is just a sample and guideline. You don’t have to start your day at 7 just because it is set up that way. For us, there were definitely early mornings … probably averaging around 6 am as normal. And of course, you have to see what your schedule is like and try to work around that. If your son is having trouble falling asleep on his own once he’s woken up in the night or mid-nap, it is a good sign that he needs the sleep training (at around 5-6 months) or some other form or training to help him learn to soothe himself back to sleep. This is especially evident if his waking up is not a hunger issue, as you mentioned. Good luck!
I last wrote in on March 24th. I wanted to write and update and give my success story to encourage others. My LO is now 7 months old. He was a horrible sleeper. At night he would sleep for only 2 hours at a time and would not nap unless it was in a swing. When he turned 4 months, we had done the extinction method with him because the Ferber method (checking on him every increasing intervals) caused more of an arousal instead of comfort. The first night he cried on and off for an hour. Then he went to sleep and woke up at 4:30 for a feeding (exclusive formula feeding). From then on, he went to sleep right after his nightly bottle at 8pm, woke up around 4:30am for a bottle and up for the day around 7am. Then by himself around 6.5 months he started dropping his night feeding and was sleeping 8pm -6:30 am.
Naps are a different story. He was using the swing to nap up until about 5 months. The I decided to do the extinction method since he was sleeping better at night. It didn’t take long for him to go to sleep by himself for naps. Every now and then he will still whimper himself to sleep but if I put him down at the right time, the first sign of sleepiness or after a certain amount of time of wakefulness, he will go to sleep without a struggle. We play the same lullabuy for him right before every nap in hopes that he understands that it is time for him to wind down for a nap. Reading Dr. Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child really helped me understand that I have to “protect” his naps/sleep time and not let anything sabotage it.
It was really a struggle for us for the first 3 months after LO’s birth. I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and desperate for your child to sleep. My heart goes out to the parents who are going through that tough stage right now. These cry it out methods really do work, but you have to be persistent. I know that it’s tough to hear them cry but they need their sleep. You have to keep telling yourself that you love them so much that you have to teach them to sleep.
Thanks so much for your update and encouragement to the other moms! I totally agree that persistence is key (we went through 11 days of sleep training!). I often receive emails from discouraged parents who say they’ve done the CIO thing for a couple days and it didn’t work. I always end up reminding them that it can take up to 2 weeks before you should reevaluate the situation … not 2 days. Just curious what you mean by the extinction method? I still have to get my hands on the Weissbluth book. Thank you again for your comment!
Yes, parents should definitely not give up after just a few days. Babies loves routines and they need to get adjusted to this “new” sleep routine.
The extinction method from Weissbluth is basically CIO with no check ins for an indefinite amount of time for night sleeps. My LO did not like check ins or PU/PD. he would cry harder with each consecutive one. I have read every book out there on sleep and only Weissbluth’s book describes my LO’s sleep habit to a tee! I like it that he’s coming from a medical background and has seen many babies with sleep problems to back up his sleep theories. He stresses the importance in keeping nap times around the same time each day and an early bedtime because that’s how their biological clock works. He even brings up other theories and states why he disagrees. Such as always having to put your baby down to sleep awake, dream feeds, and reasons for night wakings. His book is definitely worth checking out.
Thank you so much Noob Mommy for your blog. It is very informative, insightful, funny, honest and endearing without making a noobier mommy feel bad. I look forward to your adventures with your 3 year old and plan to take notes from your experience 😉 so please blog more often!
So I tried to let my little one cry for 5 mins yesterday at naptime to see how he would do because I was planning to start the frenetic method. I went in to check and he had threw up in his mouth and was now choking on it. I had to pick him up and help him get it up. After about 30 seconds of him not breathing he finally threw up a TON of formula and started to breathe and cry again. Took 15 mins after that just to calm him down. I think he gets so scared by himself and works himself up big time. He is 6 months old and I just really need some advice on if this is right for him. Thank you
Hi and thanks for your site! What I don’t get about sleeping training is if you are exclusively breastfeeding- how do they/you know the difference? Aren’t they thinking “why is mommy coming this time? I was hungry before too and she didn’t come.” Know what I mean? How are you supposed to know when to feed. I ask because my little girl (5.5 months) wakes up 4 times a night and I end up feeding her. How do I know which of those wakes up I should be feeding her?
Steph- According to the Baby Whisperer and Ferber, as well as my own experience, our little ones are capable of sleeping through the night without feeding at 5-6 months. So, if your LO is ready to be sleep trained (5-6 months old), it may be your goal to go through the night without having to wake up and feed. Remember that sleeping through the night at this age is considered 5 + hrs, although NB was able to go longer than that … from about 7:00pm-5:30 am. Waking up 4 times a night seems like a lot and is probably really draining on you both. She may be snacking or eating out of habit. You can try a pacifier or some water and see if that’s all she needs. But also, at 6 months you’ll be introducing solids. This will also help her get more calories in the day so you don’t have to worry about her getting hungry during the night. Email me if you have more questions!
It’s wonderful to see success stories. My little one is only 2.5 months and not ready for CIO. But one day there will come a time where I can not wake up every 2 hours to rock him back to sleep! I know it’s an old post, but I was wondering how your little one’s sleep pattern was before you used the Ferber method. Was she sleeping through the night? When she woke up, did you have to rock her to sleep? What made you finally decide to use the CIO?
Shirley – Sleeping was always a really arduous task for us before we went through the sleep training process. Every nap and bedtime required a ridiculous amount of rocking…and not just cuddly, warm fuzzy baby rocking… but like a very specific hop, jump, neurotic pacing that practically turned me into a hunchback. You know the rocking is bad when your tough hubby finally says his body can’t handle anymore either! That was our main incentive to go through the sleep training. We also talked with a friend who had been through it with their daughter and said we would hate the process, but never regret it. He was right! Naps and bedtime required sneaking out of the room or going in a couple times at night to rock her back to sleep. It was impossible to just lay her down and kiss her goodnight. The process and physical exhaustion is what finally pushed us to sleep train.
hey! found your site because i’ve got a 5 month old and i was wondering IF you can sleep train with a soother. she uses a soother for naps and bedtime only, but she has lately been waking a few times in the evening (at least twice, sometimes more) and i’m not sure if it’s because she wants her soother or not, but she’s waking up for one reason or another. sometimes we can just put the soother back in and leave, and she falls back asleep. i’m wondering what might be waking her so often…. this usually only happens from about bedtime (8ish) until about 10-11 pm. just wondered if you could explain the details of how you sleep trained with a soother. thanks! 🙂
my baby will be 4 months tomorrow…..is it okay for me to let her cry???? cause she seems to be waking up alot and won’t stop crying until i put her on my boob to breastfeed…………..
Anon- 4 months is still too young for sleep training. I’d wait until she’s about 6 months to proceed if she’s still having trouble falling asleep on her own. For now, continue swaddling, using a paci, and other soothing techniques to see if that helps. Maybe some soft music, singing, white noise, or gentle rocking would be ok. Hang in there! I know it’s frustrating.
Hi Noobmommy;
Falling asleep doesn't seem to be my little ones problem. She's 5months. Will fall asleep fine. BUT, especially at naps, will wake up after 20-30mins. I want her naps to be longer. Today I started the ferber method once she wakes up. This is torture (for both of us). Am I expecting too much after her 20min. refresher? Should I continue this method? How long do I do this per nap session? Any other suggestions to get her nap longer?
Sam- Good luck to you and hang in there. You probably feel like crying just as hard as your LO, but you will both make it through the training – happily! Trust me, when they learn to sleep and soothe on their own, they are so much happier! Best to you 🙂
Hello Noobmommy,
Today my husband and I started the CIO sleep training. Thank you for this post because after about an hour I feel like the worlds worst mom. (If only I could get a mug with that saying) Tonight has been the hardest night for us. We were co-sleeping which was not something we planned on but after nights of being exhausted and she would just naturally fall asleep in bed with us it worked for me. It soon became harder for me to sleep because I could not get comfortable. Now that we got her to sleep in her crib most of the night we started the cio. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only "Stalin" out there. I know that in the end this will be good for her. Its just so hard right now.
Anon- Noob Baby sleeps with her paci for naptimes and bedtime, although she doesn't normally notice when it falls out. I think using a soother is fine up to a reasonable age of course. I guess it depends on if it bothers you or not. Would you rather not have to go in and replace it? If so, then you can eventually work on training her to fall asleep without it. I'd say that the first issue you should try and tackle is the middle of the night feedings. At her age (given she's healthy in other aspects), she should be weaned from the habitual night feeding. So, continue to use the soother so that you don't go cold turkey on her. When she wakes at night, see if she'll fall back to sleep with a little soothing/patting from you. If not, try cutting down the liquids or replacing with water. If all else fails, you may need to let her CIO during those feedings eventually so she learns to just fall back asleep when it's not mealtime 🙂 After all that, you can try to tackle the soother issue if it concerns you or is disruptive to her sleep. Good luck!
Our LO is 6 months old and goes to sleep with a soother for naps and at bedtime (no crying). She wakes up during the night to have her soother replaced. She also wakes up after 45 minutes of napping to have her soother replaced. If we replace the soother she normally goes back to sleep. Sometimes at night she won't so I feed her. She typically feeds once or twice at night. So, my question to you is, is it okay to let them have their soother to go to sleep? Do you think this will work if we use it as a tool to get her to self sooth if she wakes up without her soother? If she is successful with going back to sleep when she would normally need her soother, we would like to work on eliminating night time feedings? Do you think what we are doing and going to do will work?
Grats to you! I’m so happy you are getting much needed sleep, and same for your little one 🙂 Thanks for leaving me a comment!
Hello again. I just wanted you to know that we have been doing exactly what you told me on the 5th and my little man is sleeping 12 hours a night. It feels good to finally get some rest. So thank you for everything!
Great thank you! We did put him to bed at 8pm last night. He woke up around 1030 and fussed a bit. Then he went back to bed. He didnt wake up utnil 5am. That is 9 hours of sleep for the very first time! YEY!!!! I let him eat at 5am and then I put him back down for an hour to play in his bed. He fussed, played, fussed, and played. I’m very excited. Thank you for the advice. I love your site!! Have a great day!
Les- At 7 months, your son may be waking out of habit. If his weight gain is good, then you can cut out that middle of the night feeding and diaper change (we only change her if she’s pooped or soaked through). Try giving him a pacifier for awhile, and if he refuses that… maybe sleep training to teach him to fall asleep on his own. Also, try an earlier bedtime. When Noob sleeps later than normal, she wakes earlier. She’s usually in bed by 7:30.
Hi there. I have a question. Do you ever have a problem with your baby sleeping only 6 hours a night. My son usually goes down around 9 or 10. He gets up once a night for a bottle and a diaper change. He will then go right back down. The problem is he will get up at 5 am no matter what. He refuses to go back to sleep. He wants to get up and play. This has been going on for a while now. He is 7 months old so I need help so my DH and I can sleep. Thank you!
To the commentator above– I thought you weren’t supposed to start sleep training with babies until six months…
thanks for all the concise advice!
We started sleep training but on day one our noob proved capable of crying for an hour and 45 minutes without even falling asleep! I gave in at that point but am sure she could have gone on longer before falling asleep. She is just now 4 months and was born 30 days pre-term. How long is it “safe” to let them cry before they fall asleep? I know you’re not a professional but was wondering what you think.
Anon – As long your LO is at least 5 months, I think she would benefit from learning to fall asleep & self-soothe on her own. It may also increase the lengths of her naptime 🙂 I would give it a try if you're willing to make the commitment (despite how hard it may be) for at least a week. If it feels too hard or if there isn't improvement, you can stop after a week.
My baby falls asleep OK on her own (with a pacifier, and sometimes the musical rain forest crib thing) but wakes many times through the night needing the pacifier back in her mouth, but falls asleep as soon as its back in her mouth. She also usually only naps 1/2 hr at a time. Do you think this kind of sleep training would help??? just let her cry instead of giving her back the pacifier? The books don’t seem to address this problem specifically…. Thanks for your advice!
The sleep training is totally worth it. Once in awhile, she’ll have times where she doesn’t want to sleep and she’ll cry and fuss. In this situation, we go in and check on her frequently, rub her back or turn on the aquarium. Other than that, we get to set her down and she falls asleep on her own. Such a tremendous improvement from rocking her to sleep!
How is this going? We have been sleep training for 3 days now and I think I have cried more than she has!
Thanks for the detailed information, please explain what you do when she was crying for 45 minutes? If my baby (only 4 months) cries for 5 minutes, I absolutely can’t stand it. She’s is co-sleeping and only naps on someone so need to make drastic changes, just don’t know how!