I’ve been trying to write this for a long time now. Trying to find the most beautiful, perfect way to write about someone who was so special to me. And as I type the word “special,” I feel sick to my stomach for not being a better writer. Because a better writer could conjure up an infinitely better word, an infinitely better way to describe my grandmother than … special.
A few weeks ago, my grandmother passed away at the age of 92. For 30 of those years, she lived with my parents. For 26 of those years, we lived together. It seems these days that those of us who do not have parents that are divorced are few and far between. I guess you could say then that I’m pretty darn blessed to have had three parents.
Granny, thank you for being my mother. For packing my lunches every day. For packing my American lunches, the plain old peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you didn’t understand but packed anyway so the kids at school would stop making fun of me at the lunch tables.
Oh, and hey, thanks for all those tears on my wedding day just as I was about to walk down the aisle. Remember how I had to patch up my professionally expensively done makeup with my trembling hands and bleary eyes, just minutes before showtime? Touché.
My grandmother used to always say that she never knew her parent’s love. The way she tossed that around in passing would have you believe she was just using a figure of speech or something. But truthfully, she was sold at a young age back in Taiwan to different parents because hers were too poor to raise her. Despite a “bumpy” beginning, my dear old granny still had all the love in the world for her five children, their husbands and wives, nine grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren.
Granny, you are a piece of me as I am a piece of you. I know now what you gave me. And I hope… I hope… I gave it back to you. And though your mother couldn’t keep you, I will always keep you. Here in my heart.
Wo hao xiang ni, Ama.
Me too… Wo hen xiang ni Ama 🙁
Your Grandmother sounds like she was a very wonderful woman and VERY special! Your post touches my heart for many reasons. One of which is because my dear mother passed away when Lexi was only 6mths old. It was very sudden and unexpected. She was the most caring, loving woman I’ve ever known. Now, being a mother, I realize what patience she had to raise 3 daughters on her own. She adopted me and loved me like I was her very own. I wish I had more time to tell/show her how much she means to me. Thanks for the beautiful post!
Thinking of you. Your Ama was awesome. Always so cheerful and welcoming. My sympathies to you and Elaine.
I never met my grandparents but now that I have a son I see how beautiful it is to have a loving grandmother/grandfather around. I feel your loss deeply, and I am very sorry.
I love you, Fecky. Glad you posted this.
This was such a touching post- I never really knew my grandparents; what a blessing you were so close to her.
Tears! Very nice post.
Very touching! Love this piece.