Photo by Paul Sapiano
After venturing to all ends of the earth… from the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro to the snaking mouth of the Amazon; from the worn steps of the Great Wall to the barren sands of the Outback… I have concluded that all parents really want to know one thing, and one thing only… *drumroll*
How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?
Well, Grasshopper, you have come to the right place. I plan to share what I’ve learned from Dr. Richard Ferber’s book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. You may have heard of Ferber, the notorious Cry-It-Out creator who no longer wishes to be known as the CIO guy. He’s kinda like Prince (TAFKAP), but the TAFKACIOG version (the artist formerly known as cry it out guy).
His sleep training is very well known in the parenting world (but often incorrectly applied and therefore misunderstood). However, after having survived this myself, I highly recommend it. If you break into a cold sweat at the thought of having to put your noob down for bed, then you you’ll want to get this book. If you’d rather give birth thrice over sans epidural, instead of having to rock your old lump of coal to bed/nap/and the like for the umpteenth time, then his book is for you.
Does your noob really have a sleep problem?
Little ones (5 months +) who are not able to soothe themselves and fall asleep or fall back to sleep on their own probably have a sleep problem. If you are rocking, nursing, standing upside down with one leg at 35 degrees, or holding your breath until baby is asleep, then this may be for you. And if you find yourself going in to soothe your noob several times a night (so many times you’re actually embarrassed to tell anyone the real number), then I’m afraid to say, you might have some dirty little sleep habits brewing.
When can I start to Ferberize he-who-shall-not-sleep-through-the-night?
TAFKACIOG states that at 3-4 months, most full-term infants should be “settling” in, and you may consider preparing for his Progressive-Waiting Approach (known on the streets as Cry It Out). By 5-6 months, you should probably be taking definite steps to address your baby’s sleep problem.
Keep in mind that sleeping through the night depends on when your baby goes to bed and how old she is. For example, by 5-6 months, babies can go at least 10 hours without a middle of the night feed, if the baby is at a healthy weight (or without special needs).
The Big Warning, Disclosure, and Pep Talk
First, take a couple shots of the hardest liquor you can find – the kind that’ll put some hair on your chest. Spam your neighbors with lengthy letters of apology (include bribe money). Purchase NRA-approved ear muffs for yourself and possibly your neighbors. Then crumple up into fetal position holding onto that bottle of liquor and cry like your baby.
You’re going to hate yourself. You’re going to think you’re an awful, cruel, heartless parent. You’re going to cry Uncle, want to give up after the first 30 minutes, and make up excuses as to why this was a terrible decision. As a Sleep Training Survivor (and there really should be some fancy medal parents can wear after going through this), I know that it’s the hardest thing to hear your adorable, helpless flesh and blood crying … in their crib… all alone. It blows. But… and there’s a big BUT. The rewards are so worth it.
Right after we finished sleep training Noob Baby, we could put her down in the crib and walk away with just a sweet little kiss goodnight. She would babble and talk to herself for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep on her own. We didn’t have to tiptoe around her room like burglars. I was able to get … now wait for it… at least 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night.
Inevitably, someone is going to tell you that you’re a terrible parent for doing this. To them I say, have you read the book and tried it as Ferber recommends … not how you think it should be done? You might hear someone say they left their noob in the room all night to cry without checking on them. Well, that is NOT how the training works. Instead of listening to the misinformed, I suggest you find someone who is going to be supportive and knowledgeable. Make your hubby or wifey be the rock when you feel you’re about to throw the whole thing out the window after day one. Luckily, Noob Daddy was there to encourage and comfort me. I left him with the Ferber book and allowed him to take the reigns when I thought the war had been lost. Trust me, I’m so ridiculously Type A. Allowing anyone to take over was very very difficult.
Just when I thought I had caused some permanent damage to my precious little sleep monster, I’d find her giggling and beaming at me the next morning.
She seemed, dare I say it, happy! There were definitely no hard feelings. After just a few days of sleep training, everyone in the Noob household was already displaying signs of true, restful sleep.
Preparing for the Progressive-Waiting Approach (commonly known as Cry it Out)
- For the first few days, pick a starting bedtime that is no earlier than the usual time your child falls asleep. It’s ok for bedtime to be a little later than his usual bedtime. Moving this start time later will help him fall asleep more quickly, but don’t move back his wake up time.
- Put your child into the crib or bed awake, in the place you want him to be sleeping. No rocking, swinging, etc. He should fall asleep under the same circumstances that he will wake normally during the night.
- When he cries or calls for you at bedtime or upon waking up at night, check him briefly at increasing intervals (see chart below for guidelines, but you can adjust the minutes to your own comfort level). Do not spend more than one or two minutes with him when you check in. Your job is to reassure him, not to help him stop crying or fall asleep. You may replace a fallen blanket or toy, but only once.
Number of Minutes to Wait Before Responding To Your Child
Day 1 - 3 min (1st wait); 5 min (2nd wait); 10 min (3rd wait); 10 min (subsequent waits)
Day 2 – 5 min; 10 min; 12 min; 12 min (subsequent waits)
Day 3 – 10 min; 12 min; 15 min; 15 min (subsequent waits)
Day 4 – 12 min; 15 min; 17 min; 17 min (subsequent waits)
Day 5 – 15 min; 17 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)
Day 6 – 17 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)
Day 7 – 20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)
- When you reach the maximum number of minutes to wait for a night, continue to leave the room for the same interval – no longer – until your child falls asleep while you are out of the room.
- I grant you permission at this point to curl into fetal position and curse like a dirty sailor.
- Dr. Ferber says that by the 3rd or 4th day, your child “will most likely be sleeping very well. If further work is necessary, continue following the chart down to day 7.” If there is still improvement after that, continue by adding a minute to each interval on successive days. *If things are not improving or are getting worse, you may have to rethink your approach.* He discusses alternatives in another section.
- If your child wakes during the night, restart the schedule from the first waiting time and work up to the maximum.
- Continue this routine after each waking until a time in the morning (usually 5 or 6 am) after which it is unlikely your child will fall back asleep. Do not let him go right back to sleep in another room. If he’s still asleep at his usual waking time in the morning, wake him up.
- Naptime: Use the same waiting schedule for naps, but if your child hasn’t fallen asleep after half an hour, or if he is awake again and calling or crying vigorously, end the nap. He may fall asleep on his own in another room, which is fine initially, as long as he does it by himself without the associations you are trying to break. However, don’t let the amount of napping time increase to make up for the sleep he lost at night. Also, don’t let naps run so late (past 4 pm) that they will interfere with falling asleep at night.
- Keep a record: Follow your schedule carefully, and chart your child’s sleep patterns in detail. This is a great way for you to visually see the progress when you feel like everything is shit. Seriously.
This was just an excerpt from Dr. Richard Ferber’s book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. If you have an older child who sleeps in a bed, or if your baby sleeps with you, refer to the book for more detailed solutions. I hope this brief, but-not-so-brief, guide helps you as you start sleep training your noob.
If you found this post helpful, share the love and purchase your own reference copy of the book here:
try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. By Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He has a few different methods you can try. The key is just suffer through it. It may take a few days, but eventually, she will sleep on her own! Good Luck! (and cute blog!)
Well, I actually started doing the ferber method on Friday! Its going pretty well actually. Very HARD at first, but it gets progressively better. Its SO wonderful everytime he falls asleep by himself. No more rocking for me! Are you still debating whether or not to try it?
I have been doing the Ferber method with my 9 month old son and it’s going well at night but not so well during the day. He does manage to fall asleep but he doesn’t nap for more than half an hour. He wakes up crying,cranky and still tired. How can I get him to take longer naps. I recently tried taking away his morning nap but he still only slept half an hour. Any suggestions?
Hi GoingBatty – Nice name btw!! I’m sorry to hear about the naps. I have to say … nap stress still plagues me at 3 yrs. What is the deal with kids and sleep?! Why do they fight it so? Nap time is trickier than the bedtime CIO because they are not soooo exhausted yet. For NB, she always woke up at exactly 40 minutes from her naps until we sleep trained her. At that point (11 days after we started training and things were much better) her naps also improved dramatically. I’d say you can continue the sleep training at naptime and see if he’ll eventually fall back to sleep. Try and keep his morning nap, though, if he needs it. Crankier doesn’t make for better sleep later. He could be overtired as well. How long have you been doing the Ferber method? What is the bedtime crying and naptime crying like?
I have just started using the progressive waiting on my 3.5 month old and it’s working great! I too noticed that with her naps she wakes up after 40 minutes almost to the dot. I’ve read Ferber, Weissbluth as well as Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer) and they all have great tips. Tracy mentions that babies spend most of their time in REM sleep and their sleep cycles tend to be 45 minutes in length, at which time they rouse out of it and if they can self soothe, hopefully they fall back asleep into another REM cycle. The key is to keep them in their crib for at least an hour and a half (contrary to what Ferber mentions in the naptime bullet above), and if they wake half way through, just try to get them back into the 2nd sleep cycle with the same progressive soothing method or whatever soothing method you’re using. I’ve done this with my LO and 80% of the time, it’s successful. Hope this helps!
Love this blog. I have an almost 8 month old and am considering the Ferber method – or just getting a hotel for myself at night – but I’m thinking Ferber may be cheaper. Question since I haven’t bought the book yet. Baby Wakes-A-Lot is home with daddy during the day and he isn’t on board with going full on Ferber for naps. Will it be successful for nighttime if we don’t do it for naptime?
I am new to this whole sleep training thing, but I talked to our pediatrician yesterday about this. He is all about doing it now (LO will be 4 months Sunday). He also said naps aren’t regulated until 6 months, so if you just want to do night training first that it would work. He said that night sleeping is different to babies and that you won’t sabotage the night work by not doing it during the day. He also said naps may get better naturally when they are getting better, more regular night sleep. So I’m putting LO down for naps and giving her the opportunity to fall asleep on her own, but if she isn’t up for it sometimes I still help her get to sleep, especially if she’s been up for 4 hours (like she was this morning). Hope that helps!
Dearest Sleepy, I feel for you! Baby Wakes-A-Lot is such a great name btw
I feel torn about your question with dad not being on board. Part of me feels that perhaps getting the night time sleep straightened out with some boot camp style sleep training just might turn around those naps for the better. Yet, at the same time, my instinct says 1) You are going to need that wingman to hold your hair back, wipe the tears, and tell you to put down the vodka (if you know what I mean). 2) No consistency with bedtime and nap training will really undermine the whole training altogether. Your little one will be getting mixed signals and not know what to expect from one person to the next. I think for the sake of your noob, you should try and get hubby on the same page. Really, it is for your sleep and sanity as much as it is the baby’s. Everyone in the household will be sleeping better in the end. If you are really insistent to give it a shot solo, it may work but prepare yourself for a lot of emotions and possibly resentment that hubby is not supportive. Good luck! Keep me posted.
Hi there,
My little angel is 4 mnths old. She wont go to sleep by herself, she normally waits for me or daddy to put her to sleep, which is in the arms and rocking or tapping her bum. Her bedtime is normally round 6.30pm. In the night she normally wakes around 3am and wants to play, if i check on her and then leave her she starts to cry till either one of us pick her up and rock and tap her. She sleeps in her cot in our room. What should we do to fix this 3am wake up????
Regards
New mommy
New Mommy – Does she need to eating during her 3 am wake up or is it just for playing? The fact that you mention she only falls asleep with rocking and other habitual soothing techniques, it leads me to believe that she has developed a dependency on you and the hubby to sleep. This was the same for NB, which is why we sleep trained her at 5-6 months. We knew she wasn’t hungry and she needed so much darned rocking that it was making everyone miserable! if this is the case, I’d strongly consider sleep training in a month or so. The Ferber approach is difficult, but so so worth it if you stick it out. It really does train the noobs to soothe themselves back to sleep. The hard thing is if she’s sleeping in your room, then the it’ll be hard for you to just roll over and ignore her during the middle of the night. Is there any chance you can separate the sleeping environments for the 3 of you during the training?
After 9 months of being completely anti-CIO, we decided it was our very last option (nothing else worked, and my 10 month old was up 8, 9, 10 times every night. We have been following it for 4 nights and, while he DOES sleep for longer periods (now he awakens at 10 and 3 only) the length of crying hasn’t really diminished since Day 2. He still cries for 30-40 minutes every time (and sometimes longer!) The night he was born the doctor asked me where he got the temper, so it is probably partly because he is one stubborn little dude. But my husband and I are both about to lose it with the long, heartbreaking cries. He also has begun to anticipate bed time and becomes very clingy and fussy during our evening routine. He also cries any time I get him near his crib, which seems counter-productive. We don’t want all these nights of misery to be for nothing, and we don’t want to give up and go back to the old ways, but don’t know what to do! Starting to think it’s not going to improve from here. Any suggestions?!?! (aside from “buy the book, you idiot!” which is probably the best suggestion).
Hey
– Sounds like you guys are at a difficult point in your CIO training, and just know that I understand how challenging it is. But, from reading your comment … it sounds like there is clear evidence it has helped! From waking 10 times a night?!!!! to just 2 is a major improvement. I hope you’ll keep that in mind as you go through this difficult training each day. At 10 months, there isn’t any reason why he should be waking so often, unless there is some health concern (which is a question for your pediatrician). Here is the cold hard truth. Our CIO training lasted 11 days! You are on day 4 and ready to throw in the towel. I highly recommend you tough it out for at least a week, if not longer! During our 11 days of training, she fluctuated between improvement and regression, but slowly she passed the hump and by keeping my sleep training journal, I could clearly see things improving (even though my heart wanted to quit). If you need to, check out the book from the library or buy a copy. But as long as you follow the minute guidelines I posted, you should be fine. After 7 days, reevaluate honestly. Has there been an improvement overall or is his sleep worse off? I’d push harder than 7 days if need be. You don’t want to go this far and just throw it all out the window if he’s not having adverse reactions (some noobs will vomit or get hysterical, etc). The hard part is, now that you are starting sleep training so close to him being a year old, he’s wise enough to know what’s coming 
But, it’s never too late to work hard for your peace of mind and sanity. Good luck!
Thanks! You’re right, of course, but boy, it’s tough to hear that crying. I was totally anti-CIO for months but we tried every other possible method and none of them did the trick.
The good news is that last night he fell asleep in less than 10 minutes and slept 9 hours with one awakening and he put himself back to sleep! I slept 7.5 hours for the first time in 10 months! I spent all day feeling like I could move mountains!
Tonight he took longer to fall asleep (and naps are a total disaster still) BUT last night was a good enough reminder that I need to keep it up, even though the crying breaks my heart. Here’s hoping tonight he sleeps as well!!!
Hi there! I noticed you’ve written some other posts about using The Baby Whisperer techniques, which are a bit different than Ferber’s. Any insight how you decided to switch, and when, and how you combined the two perspectives? Thanks!
D – I used The Baby Whisperer for my scheduling, feeding, and many of my early troubleshooting. I wouldn’t say I “switched” per say, I feel they cover different topics. In fact, the Ferber book I read for sleep training is mostly focused on sleep and not much else. They vary in that the Baby Whisperer promotes a “shush/pat” “pick up/put down” technique for sleep training rather than CIO. The reason why I decided to use Ferber’s approach for our sleep problems was because the Baby Whisperer’s techniques didn’t work for us. So overall, I used both Ferber and Hogg for different purposes. I tend to read different parenting books and experts and take whatever I find valuable and combine them all
Can you use a pacifier with the Ferber method? My little Prince of the Pacifiers can’t seem to sleep without it!
Hopeful – It is best recommended that you don’t use a pacifier while sleep training with the Ferber method. If the pacifier falls out, you’ll have to keep going in there to replace it, which sort of defeats the purpose of you being out of the bedroom. It would be going from one sleep crutch to another. Good luck!
Thank you for getting back to me. Oh Boy – looks like I have my work cut out for me!
Hi there…I am not new to the whole mommy idea as we have already raised 3 kids. Out of the blue last year we found out that after eight years we were pregnant again. A baby boy was born at 35 weeks gestation but was healthy with high scores and everything…
He is now a little over 3 months old and still a healthy growing baby boy.
But the problem is as follows…we have absolutely no problem getting him to sleep, he is put down in his crib when he is tired and almost instantly falls asleep. BUT to keep him asleep for more than 3 hours proves to be the challenge, he wakes up every 3 hours..takes a few sips of milk and sleeps again, sometimes its as if he just wants to see if he can get us out of bed. I just need some tips on how to keep him asleep so we also get some of the rest we need.
We follow your daily routine with all the cluster feeds but it doesn’t seem to help.
Anolene – If he is waking up almost on the dot, every 3 hours, it sounds like habitual waking rather than waking due to hunger. Also, the fact that you mention he only takes a few sips of milk, also points to habit not hunger. Does he use a pacifier? You should continue swaddling, use a pacifier, some white noise, and just waiting awhile and see what happens if you let him cry a bit. He may just get tired and bored and fall back asleep. If you were to say that he was waking rather unpredictably and drinking a lot, then it could just be hunger/growth spurt. I’d try to hold him off and see how he does without your intervention. If all else fails, you may want to consider some sort of sleep training in a couple months when he’s old enough. Good luck!
I want to try the Ferber Method with my 7-month old daughter. I think we’ll do fine at night. It’s naps I’m concerned about. Baby and I go to the gym every morning, and she ALWAYS falls asleep in the car on the way home, no matter what time it is. What should I do? Wake her up as soon as we get home? Clear my gym schedule until we can establish a good nap schedule? What is a good nap schedule for a 7-month old anyway?
I have an 8 month old daughter who I’m I’m trying to get to sleep in her own crib. I am failing miserably! At night I can get het to sleep in her crib where she will sleep at 40 minute increments then wake for nursing. I cave then bring her to my bed usually after the third or fourth waking. I also give a soother. Nap times aRe usually in her swing. So I’m trying to do a few things to get her to wake less and sleep in het own bed. For example I know what I should be doing to br successful but in soooo tired that my emotions get the best of me and I cave! Another question is when she wakes she now sits up and cries and doesn’t know how to lay back down to go to sleep so my question is do I wait yo the end of the waiting periods to go in and lay her back down??? I’m so lost!!!!
Tara – I understand you’re frustrated and sleep deprived! But, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when you admit to caving in because your emotions get the best of you. At 8 months, your daughter should be just fine sleeping through the night (5+ hours without having to eat). If she’s started eating solids, then her tummy should be able to hold enough nutrients to go without eating at night. Which means, her waking every 40 minutes, is totally a dependency and habit and not a necessity. If you look at it that way, then you should slowly be able to let go of the guilty feeling that she’s hungry or that you’re harming her by letting her learn to sleep and soothe herself. If you are serious about sleep training, please read my step-by-step instructions. But, the foundation has to be that you’ll hold firm and no caving! I can’t help you with the caving and emotions, unfortunately. Those are things you’ll have to learn to overcome on your own or with the support of a family member. If you want and need the sleep as much as your little one does to develop happily and healthily, then stay firm and follow the Ferber guidelines. Also, get her out of the swing as soon as you can. You certainly don’t want to have a one-year old in a few months who’s still napping in her swing. Good luck!
Noob mommy! I need your advice! I have a 7.5 month old, who until this point, had been sleeping pretty solidly at night. Solids are firmly established, as well as routine. She had been going to bed at 7, waking up at 5:30, at which point I would bring her into our bed until 7am (probably a bad habit). I should mention that i have never had any real issues with putting her down at night – put her in her crib, smooch, goodnight, walk away. but now I don’t know what’s going on – she cries and cries when i put her down at night, and is comforted only when i pick her up. It takes several cuddles and pacifier now until she is settled. She is waking up SEVERAL times at night. She will only sleep soundly now if she is in bed right beside me. She is not sick, maybe teething, but i see no redness. The only real difference in our home right now is we have put a massive xmas tree up in the living room lol right next to her play area. This has been going on for about a week now, and i want to correct it.
Do you think trying the Ferber method would be a good idea?
Teresa – Since the change in your little one’s routine seems to have appeared out of nowhere, I would definitely hold off on the Ferber method for a little while and just monitor her to see if she has some other issues that are bothering her. She may be going through a growth spurt, and I did notice you wrote she isn’t teething or sick. If she’s gained some new motor development or other growth milestone, that could also cause her to be a little “off the normal” behavior pattern. Glad to hear you are very observant and in tune with your DD! But still, keep an eye out. With the holidays and new things happening, it is totally normal for sleep patterns to get disrupted. If after a couple weeks you think the situation hasn’t returned to normal, then I would consider sleep training. Since you did mention that you do bring her into your bed on occasion, she may be getting to the age now where she is observant and knows that being in bed with Mommy is an option. At some point, you will want to decide if bringing her to bed is something you really cherish and love, or if that’s just a quick out to get her to settle down. If it’s a habit you’d prefer to break, then you’ll need to set your foot down soon. 7.5 months is still early enough where they can’t “negotiate” with you during the sleep training process, if you know what I mean
Hi Noob Mommy, first I have to say thank you, because your blog is one of the main things that convinced me to try Ferber. We have an 8.5 month old who slept great up until about a month and a half ago. When I read your blog, I felt like I was reading about us and our struggles, humor and frustration and all! We started the sleep training schedule on Friday 12/16 and by night 4, our son was back to sleeping through the night. Happy baby, happy parents! The best part is he is finally taking naps in his crib, no rocking, no sleeping on our shoulder, leaving us immobile on the couch until he wakes! Tonight will be night 6. I notice you kept track until your daughter fell asleep on her own without crying. My question is, is the goal to get him to sleep through the night, even with some crying when I put him down initially or to have him not cry at all when he’s put down and then of course sleep through the night? I’ve been keeping very careful track of all times and the crying has lessened. Just wondering how long I should keep track. Regardless, this whole method is truly GENIUS! Thanks!
Stacey – Thanks so much for your kind and uplifting words! I love to hear success stories, especially when parents have such a tough time with sleep as we did! Now that you’ve been sleep training for almost two weeks, are you still having success? I can’t wait to hear another update. I kept our sleep training journal until I felt that I could see a consistent improvement in NB. At which point, she’d still occasionally whimper or cry at bedtime, but mostly she was just happy as could be! I just knew that we had reached our goal. I think you already sound very very happy with the results of your hard work and endurance. It’s probably going to be much better from here on out. Keep us updated!
Hi! Thanks again for the advice! We are still having success, thank goodness! I kept track until yesterday, but really he’s been sleeping well since day 4 or 5. Now he definitely doesn’t cry as much when we put him in, maybe just a little whimpering, but mostly he either just falls asleep or sits there until he decides to lay down, its pretty amazing! Naps I feel are our biggest success because he never napped in his crib. Now he takes 2 naps a day, anywhere from 45 mins. to 1hr 20 mins. Of course some nights he takes longer than others to fall asleep, just like adults I guess! But I haven’t needed to really follow the sleep schedule since week one. I don’t think we ever even got up to the longest interval! So, I’d say the whole process was a success! I just wish I had tried it a month earlier, but better late than never! Thanks again!
I tried Ferber with my 7-month old daughter and it worked perfectly–for a week. We were so happy that it had been so easy. My daughter had about a week of sleeping through the night or waking once or twice, but always soothing herself back to sleep in 5 minutes or less. Somehow something has changed. Now my daughter wakes up, not crying but SCREAMING. I have never heard her cry like this before. It upset my husband and me, so I started picking her up again. Have I sabotaged everything? Could she be in pain from teething? What should I do now?
Michelle – This is a tricky one! Have you noticed if there are any other changes? Does she seem ill, teething, growth spurt, etc.? When you pick her up when she starts screaming, is she consoled easily? Does she fall back to sleep right away or does she need to be soothed for a long time? Will she wake up repeatedly like prior to the sleep training? I’d monitor your LO and consider sleep training again after the holidays when you are back on a regular schedule since you did have great success the first time! Also, it took us almost two weeks for us to feel our sleep training was “complete.” It’s possible that it took her a week to realize what kinda fast move you guys pulled on her
Does she only wake up crying or does she fall asleep screaming as well?
Thank you for your answer. That was funny! Yes, I think you’re right. After a few good nights, she realized she wasn’t waking up on Mommy’s belly anymore. (I used to soothe her back to sleep by putting her on my belly for the last hour or two of the night.) Once she learned that crying didn’t work, she tried screaming. Clever little thing. Well, we started again from square one and again had quick success. Now she’s teething and has a cold. And we’re going out-of-state for a two-week vacation in mid-January. So, I expect we’ll have to start over again when we get back from the trip, but at least we know the basics. Maybe it won’t be too hard. Oh-another good thing about this method–Baby almost never needs a pacifier anymore. We basically only use it in the car now.
Hello Noob Mummy, my little princess is 19 weeks today..and has regressed from her sleep. She slept through the night from about 8 weeks for 35 nights (look who’s counting
) and then all went out of the window. She used to sleep after her last feed at 1030pm until 7am in the morning without waking up at all…..i thought we had it sorted until she started waking up in the middle of the night again about 6 weeks ago. Since then, she would wake up at least 2 or 3 times every night after her last feed – usually between 3ish and 4ish. We sometimes wouldn’t hear a peep from her as she would just lay in cot playing by herself so we don’t even know how long she’s been awake for when she finally cries for attention. She uses the pacifier to help her sleep..i haven’t been doing anything different since 8 weeks apart from stretching out her feeding to 3.5/4hours. She’s not a good napper – no more than 45 mins at a time..and if we are lucky and catch her between sleep cycles in the afternoon, then we can go for about 2 hours. She feeds at 7am, 1030/1045am, 2pm, 5pm, 615pm (bed time
) and then we wake her up at 1045pm for her last feed. She’s usually too sleepy at 615pm and 1045pm to finish her full feed. If she does wake up in the middle of the night, we try to tide her over with her pacificer and she goes back to sleep, but if she cries, she only drinks 50ml and then falls back to sleep (i don’t think she’s waking from hunger if she’s taking such a small amount). So my question is, what’s the best way to have her sleeping through the night again? Is she overly reliant on her dummy now and should i be starting sleep training? I need her sleeping through the night as once i wake up in the night to pay her attention, i can’t go back to sleep myself….and i need to be fully functional in the day when i return to work in a few days!!! Thanks!
Mummy – Ferber recommends sleep training at about 5-6 months, at which point your little one can hold the nutrients in her belly to sleep for a longer time through the night (5 + hours). Sounds like she’s almost at 5 months? I’d wait till after the holiday madness is over and consider the training if she’s at the right age. It sounds like you also have a pretty good hunch that she’s not waking out of hunger but rather out of habit. That’s a really good indicator that she’s dependent on you or the paci to soothe herself back to sleep … another sign that sleep training might be beneficial. The changes in her sleep habits are perfectly normal. All kinds of disruptions as they grow can cause these changes (teething, growth spurts, illness, mobility, other development milestones). Basically, when she’s old enough for the training and you are emotionally ready to bite the bullet … go for it! Especially if you are working! You need that sleep just as much as she does to be happy and well-rested during the day.
Hi Noob mummy, I am just starting “Ferberizing” tonight after a couple of months of miss G (6 months) waking every two hours at night. She was an absolute angel bub and used to only wake once for a feed but at 2 months the wakings started increasing and now after a couple of trips away and a terrible double ear infection she is waking 4 or 5 times a night, feeding for 5-10 minutes and then falling asleep. I’m convinced she has just developed bad habits and is using me to get back to sleep so after the all clear from the doctor I’m going to try sleep training.
From a very early age I taught her to self settle so she has no problem going to sleep, it is the resettling at night that is the issue as I have always just feed her back to sleep but now I am OVER the no sleep and I think because she is feeding so much at night she is not eating as well during the day.
So the progress so far……. She went down at 7pm as always and had her first wake up at 8.30pm, I left her for 3 mins then went and gave her a few pats and made sure she wasn’t too hot (its summer here) then left her for 5 then went in again then 10 mins wait then her crying was starting to slow down so I left her and she stopped crying and went to sleep!! It really wasn’t that bad as I let my 3 year old stay up a bit late and he came outside and kept me occupied while she cried! Not looking forward to the rest of the wakings tonight though, crying in the middle of the night is hard to ignore!! I just have a couple of questions for you, if while I am doing the waiting and she stops crying for a minute or two do I start the timer again and is it back to 3 minutes or is it still at the 10 minute wait time? Also as she has just turned 6 months and has never slept through the night so should I still dreamfeed her or just cut out the feeds cold turkey. (she has been on solids for 2 months so they are kind of well established). Thanks for your help, love your blog by the way!
Em – I am curious to know how it’s going. We have a nightime habit eater too (5 mo) and our situation sounds bery similar to yours. We plan to start Ferbrizing tomorrrow. How did the rest of the night go?
Hi Tired momma
Rest of the night went pretty well, I ended up feeding her at 10.30pm and then she woke at 1.30 (and I fed her) but then she didn’t wake until 7 which was a breakthrough compared to how she has been. But as you can see I didn’t really do it properly and the following night my sister babysat for me and since then we have been a bit out of routine with visitors so I’m having to start all over again tonight. She actually just woke up @8pm its now 8.36 and I’m up to the 10 minute wait and she is still screaming, hope she gives it up soon!! So tempted to give in and feed her!!! I’ll go outside and play with the dog after the next enter. I’ll keep you updated!! x
Okay so I gave in! It had been over an hour and my mum was about to come around and drop off my neice and nephew who are staying here (and I’m weak weak weak!!!) so I fed her, she just didn’t seem to be winding down anytime soon!So onward and upward I’ve decided that trying to sleep train her while they are staying is probably not going to work because screaming baby sounds much worse when other people are there listening. So I’ll check back in a few days once I can do it properly and once I have stocked up on rum!!!! GOOD LUCK, love to know how your going! I also plan on going to the library tomorrow to borrow the book so I can maybe get more of an idea about how to do it!! x
Em – Hang in there! It is probably a good idea to start this when the visitors are gone and if there’s a significant other in the picture, getting them on board with the program. It takes willpower, but just know that the training is mostly for your baby’s benefit .. not just your own. Children who sleep well are proven to be happier, more energetic, and more capable of learning, etc. Good luck and keep us posted!
HI Noob moomy me again! So we’re back on night one, she woke at 7.30pm and it’s now 8.30pm and she is still screaming!!!! I’m going to remain strong though I haven’t been through an hour of crying to give up now!
Just have one question though I still swaddle her but she is getting so strong now that when she is crying she ends up unswaddled and in the most awkward posititions in the cot, so should I just unswaddle alltogether and teach her how to fall asleep without it or should I keep reswaddling her everytime I go in and check on her?
Thanks for your help, I can’t believe their is no ferber forum out there! x
Em- How is the sleep training going? I’d say that you keep the timer running if she sort of sniffles and stops, etc. In my opinion, at 6 months she should be fine without the dreamfeeds, particularly if she’s having solids too during the day. Let us know how the training goes! Stick with it for at least a week or two and keep a journal so you can clearly monitor the progress. Good luck!
Oh we had such a good night!!! Okay I’ll admit that first waking was hideous and I ended up giving in and feeding her BUT when she woke at 1.30am I was determined to hold my nerve and she cried for about 25 minutes then went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until 6.30 this morning!!!! Hopefully we can have as good a night tonight, thinking I might unswaddle and teach her how to go to sleep with out the swaddle as well otherwise I’m only going to have to go through all this again when I do unwrap her!
Now can someone please tell my boobies we aren’t feeding overnight anymore, I woke up in a puddle of milk with hooters to rival pam anderson!
We are going great guns, night three last night and she slept from 6.30-6.45!!! No wakings! I am so proud of her and highly recommend this method to anyone whose bub is not yet sleeping through.
I am so glad I went cold turkey on the night feeds and unswaddled her because it has all come together so so well!! Now I know this could all change in the next couple of nights but I have the confidence in this method now to proceed and not go back to feeding 4-5 times a night!
Anyone thinking of trying the method I would suggest going to your local library and borrowing the book, unlike most parenting books it doesn’t take a week to read, in fact I could read it in a couple of hours, because you only have to read the sections relevant to you. Thanks noob mommy, without your website I would never have tried CIO as it all sounds so daunting! xx
Em- So so happy to hear about your great success! And thank you for coming back here to post updates and encouragement for the other readers. I know how hard it is to stay tough and not cave-in, but for those people who give this method a committed week or two, I believe most parents and babies will feel the happiness of healthy sleep!! I hope the success continues for you. Like you said, there may be some regressions and definitely as she gets older, there will be more sleep adjustments, but I definitely believe you’ve set the proper foundation now. Happy weekend and many more well-rested nights to you and yours
does ferberisation cause dehydration and how can counter that?
Anon- I’m not a doctor, but I believe with my experience and from reading Ferber’s book (as well as other parenting books) your little one will not be dehydrated from sleep training if she/he is at the proper age (at least 6 months). At about 5-6 months, our little ones can go a good 5+ hour stretch without needing to feed.
Hi Noob Mommy! Thanks for your useful and informative website! I’m considering to do CIO for my baby when she is 4.5 months, she is dependent on pacifier and rocking. So I’m wondering whether CIO can help. When she was at 11 week, I tried cold turkey with the pacifier (we hold her, rocking, singing, shhhh, etc. but she kept crying, sometimes up to 1 hour…so I’m afraid she may cry non-stop in CIO. Did Ferber mention how long is maximize for the cry, and what to do in the case… I’m really need your help! Much Thanks!
And is it ok to do CIO for a baby sleep in her crip next to her parents’bed?
Kylie – CIO is designed to help your baby 5+ months old if she has a sleep dependency (pacifier, rocking, etc.). Take a look at the chart to see how to set up the progressive schedule (each day has different minute intervals between checking in on the baby). Ferber says you can continue this all night till her normal wake up time. After she has hit the “max” waiting period, stay with that time frame until she falls asleep. If she wakes up again in the middle of the night, restart the intervals working up to the max again. As for naps, you should only go for about 30 minutes before you end the nap time completely.
Thank you so much for this blog and for all the answers you post to Mommies – it’s so helpful and nice to hear others’ experiences! I’m into Night Two of Ferberizing my daughter. We did it with my son when he was 4 months, and it was SO easy. Well, not at all “easy,” but the first night it was 40 minutes, the second night 20 minutes and by the third night he was sleeping peacefully for 12 hours! My daughter, though, seems to be putting up quite the fight. The first night she cried for an hour and didn’t seem to be at all calmed down when my husband went in at the regular intervals. Tonight, she’s going on 1.5 hours of crying and not calming at all. It’s making me wonder if maybe she’s not ready for this, maybe she really did need that middle of the night feeding….. :/ We started Ferberizing because she was a pretty good sleeper but would always wake crying around 3-4am, but then nurse for a couple minutes and fall right back asleep. She’s 90th percentile in height and 80th in weight, so the pediatrician said she didn’t need that extra feeding and it was probably just habitual. She goes down pretty easily at night, though we do swaddle her and let her sleep with the paci. In the Ferberizing sessions, though, she’s of course struggled out of her swaddle and we’re avoiding the paci because – as you wrote in one of your posts – it seems like substituting one crutch for another. Should we maybe try to start training her at the start to go down without the paci? Should we keep using the paci during Ferber? I’m just a little dismayed that she seems to be regressing rather than progressing (she also woke up earlier tonight than the nights before). I realize it’s only Night Two and I have to steel my will, but I admit I’m crumpling….
Losing Faith – Hang in there! It sounds like you know (and the pediatrician has agreed) that her wakings (at almost exactly the same time each night) is habitual. Her weight and health sound great, so she’s probably capable of sleeping through the night without the extra feedings. I’d definitely continue with the training for at least a week if not more. If after a week things are CLEARLY getting worse and crying is getting longer, then stop and reevaluate. But if you keep a detailed log and monitor the progress each night, you may see that there is gradual improvement! Also, since you did have an easier time with your first, it’s probably harder because you do have something to compare it to
As you can see from my own experience, we went ~ 11 days of this with many ups and downs. Then it just clicked! As far as the paci goes, you can start gradually by eliminating paci’s during the day and only use for naps/bedtime. Then consider breaking it all together at bedtime. Good luck!
Thanks for the words of support and encouragement!
ok your blog is fabulous and has inspired me to try this! I ordered the book, but it hasn’t arrived yet. I did however start the method three nights ago anyway. My 8 month old used to sleep just fine, but is now up 5 times a night. Minimum. The method is going well. Last night after the first check, he was out. But like some of the other mommies, it’s the night wakings that are our problem. It took me an hour last night at two am to get him back down! The biggest problem is that when he wakes he instantly stands up and can’t get back down! What do I do about that? And will the night wakings get better?? I’m at the end of my rope. I even spent 150 bucks on a sleep consultant with no improvement!!
Dying- I think it’s up to you if you want to go in and put him back down if he’s stuck in the standing up position. If you do so, go in and gently put him back to sleep and leave. Make sure he knows it’s not playtime or anything else, but you’re there just to make sure he’s ok and help him out a little. Stick to business
Yes, the night wakings can be difficult and take a long stretch of time before they fall back asleep. But if so, don’t let them sleep in to make up for the time. Make sure you keep up with the training and your daily schedule. It should make him nice and sleepy for the naps. Good luck! If you stick with it and follow Ferber’s guidelines, I believe you will find success!
I have been bed-sharing with my little one since birth! He just turned 4 months old. I am on night 3 of this CIO business. I was doing checkins every 5 minutes max…until tonight when I let it stretch to 10 minutes a couple of tines because I got very frustrated and clsose to giving in!! ANyways, I have been using this method for naps and also for the initial bedtime at night. Do I HAVE to put him back to sleep in the middle of the night using this method as well? I live in apartments and also don’t want to wake my SO who is sleeping (we currently have baby in our room since we are still in our one bedroom apt right now..).
I REALLY want my son to sleep through the night and be rested and happy! I don’t mind sleeping with him every now and then, but I want to choose when rather than having it be the only option. I need help with this CIO! He wakes up MULTIPLE times during the night!!! And it has only gotten worse….
Also, he was going to bed with me each night at whatever time I would lay down. (He also sometimes would fall asleep while being held and I was able to RARELY lay him in his crib and he would sleep for a couple hours in there at the beginning of the night.) Sometimes this was pretty late… I have started putting him down around 9pm, as this is the desired bedtime! You mentioned above that it isn’t good to put them to bed earlier than they are used to…?
and my son doesn’t need a mid-night feeding, either!! we just had his 4 mo checkup 2 days ago and he is 80th percentile for wight and 98th for height!! no shortage there!! He is breastfed, and I was feeding him while cosleeping all this time, so I think that is why he wakes to eat/soothe so much still!!
CIO- The key to Ferber’s sleep training is consistency and following his guidelines. For one, he recommends waiting until your little one is about 5 months old or older. If you choose to start the training earlier, just be cautious. It sounds like your LO is healthy in weight, which is wonderful, but if he’s a bit older, he may be able to go longer at night with a fuller belly. Secondly, keep a consistent bedtime. It sounds like you are putting him to bed at different times and sometimes very late … 9 pm? Ferber mentions that when you START sleep training, you can put them down a little later than usual the first day to get them extra sleepy. But it’s not suggested that your LO has a late or irregular bedtime consistently. Most children really benefit from having an earlier bedtime (7-7:30) if it’s possible. If you have work or other factors in play, that is understandable. But an overtired, overstimulated baby can make sleep more difficult in general. When you use Ferber’s method, you are supposed to use his method for naps, bedtime, and mid-night wakings. The purpose is to teach your little one how to self-soothe and sleep without you as an aid, no matter the time of day. Also, you mention that you want to be able to choose when to let your son sleep with you. I don’t have experience with co-sleeping, but if you do proceed with the training, it may be confusing to your LO if you allow him to sleep with you sometimes and other times not. Mixed signals and inconsistency is very confusing to little ones, and can be worse when they are old enough to complain to you. It might be a good idea to consider what you want in the long run and how to proceed with that. Hopefully I answered some of your questions! Good luck!
Hi there,
I’ve been enjoying reading your blog and have a question that I hope you can help with! We have an almost-4-month-old girl, and our pediatrician has recommended that when she hits 4 months, we use the Ferber method.
She actually sleeps great–11-13 hours at night and 3-5 hours of naps during the day most days! The problem? She sleeps EXCLUSIVELY in her swing. We cannot, for the life of us, get her to stay asleep for more than a few minutes in her crib. (Strangely enough, we went to visit my parents for a week last month, and she slept in a crib THERE–and slept fantastically well–the whole week! But when we got back home, it completely fell apart. We have no idea why!) We have started putting her in the swing on the very lowest setting and turning it off once she’s asleep since I know she’s probably completely dependent on the motion to sleep. The good news is that she will often stay asleep once the swing is turned off–but we haven’t succeeded in placing her in the nonmoving swing and having her sleep.
SO…..is the Ferber method recommended for breaking a sleep association like swing sleeping? (She also sleeps with a paci, but I think the swing is the much bigger issue). We are wondering whether to wait to sleep-train until she’s comfortable sleeping in the crib, or whether STing would be the most effective method, in itself, to TEACH her to sleep in the crib. (I hope that makes sense!)
Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated!
Okay, so the day she turned four months old (this past Thursday) we planned to start STing her to teach her to sleep in the crib. We went through the bedtime routine, I steeled my nerves, and we put her in the crib…..and she fell right asleep! She’s been sleeping in her crib for night sleep and all naps since then! I’m sure there will be more challenges and surprises down the road, but she seems to have been as ready as we were to move to the crib. She’s also napping longer for SOME of her naps–there are still a good number of 30-45 minute naps in there, but we’re also seeing a smattering for 1-2 hour ones. Hopefully her sleep is starting to regulate!
Sara- Great to hear! Sounds like everyone was ready to get some decent shut-eye. I hope the Ferber method continues to bring you peaceful sleep and success!
Sara- Ferber’s sleep training is a great way to help break many sleep associations. For us, it was rocking Noob Baby to sleep (which sounds like the same equivalent of what you’re going through). If you really want to get her used to sleeping in her crib, it’s a great time to start practicing. You may want to try just naptimes at first, or go cold turkey and use the method all the way. I’d say that the swing issue is more important at the moment than the paci. But later on, you can also use the same technique with paci – limiting use to only naps/bedtime, then just nap, etc. All in all, I think your pediatrician is right on the mark with the sleep training! Good luck!
love your blog! encouraging and funny! Our babygirl is 3months old now and our pediatrician states that she should be able to go to sleep anywhere from 7-9pm and does not need a night feed! im unsure how i feel about this but lately we would put her down at 830-9p and she wouldnt wake until around 4am lately. i would feed her and sometimes she will go right back to sleep and sometimes it will take an hour to settle her! at bedtime once we put her down we laydown also she in sleeping in the cosleeper attached to our bed and we will give her the pacifier and sometimes rock her a little if the pacifier isnt helping her settle but this process takes about 1-2 hours before she goes to sleep for the night and hubby and i are pretty much walking around on our toes like ninjas if we need to go to the bathroom. and even once she settles it seems like if we leave the room she doesnt smell us and wakes up. oh goodness…this is what brings me to cio…my pediatrician recommends it at this age already and i was dreading that moment! we live in a 1 bedroom apt and wondering if cio is possible if she stays in our room. can we just disconnect the cosleeper and use it as a stand alone bassinet in our room? will she cry even more with middle of the night wakes if she smells us? as far as naps now she is sleeping in her swing. gosh we have given her too many sleep associations out of desperation! must i put her down in the bassinet for every nap also? i will be returning to work soon and really would like her to be able to self soothe herself to sleep so she can have an easier time at the babysitter. we must keep bedtime around 830-9 because i work 12 hour shifts in the hospital and wouldnt get home any earlier
noob mommy please help another noob at this!!!! thanks!
CIO – According to Ferber, sleep training shouldn’t start till about 5-6 months. I’ve had many readers write to me and say that their pediatrician has ok’d it before then. Since I’m not a physician and only have my own experiences and reading to guide me, I would say that the decision is up to you. It doesn’t hurt to wait another month or two if you are having hesitations and can hold out. Whatever you decide to do, it is possible to sleep train with the LO in your room… but I imagine it will be more difficult. Ferber recommends that you continue to leave the room between the check-ins (if possible) or if you need to be in the room at the time (like it’s the middle of the night), you should remain quiet and “separated” as much as possible. Roll over, try not to make eye contact, have her sleep farther away if possible. She may know that you’re in the room, but she’ll learn that you are not there to help her fall back asleep. In addition, when you sleep train, definitely train her off the swing as well. It would be too confusing for her to learn these techniques but not be able to use them consistently. Consistency is key! You are trying to prepare her for the sleep conditions she will need to get used to (falling asleep on her own, back to sleep on her own, no swinging, rocking, etc.) I’d say this goes with the swaddle and pacifier as well… but you could also choose to wean her off the paci a little later (which we did and isn’t too hard).
sorry one more question… her swaddle yes she uses that too..lol swaddle, paci ,rocking, shush’n you name it! she has been breaking out of her swaddle lately and ends up rubbing her face and waking her up but for the past 2 days shes been doing better with it. i left both arms out in her swing at naps yesterday and it was successful, today she will only go with one arm out. but still better than a full swaddle. i was wondering once i start cio can i go cold turkey with both pacifier and swaddle? or will it be too much at once?
thanks for your response! once i saw a email notification of a comment it was like christmas morning to me! lol how did you manage to do cio with pacifier and wean after? i dont mind her using a paci in the car and things like that but its making her wake up too often at night when she is first trying to settle, if she looses it she wakes. we have a place that we can move her bassinet into for the cio process if it would make it easier but in the long run we would still like to keep her in our room so would it be too confusing for her if we move her back into our room once we feel cio is successful? thanks soooo much!
CIO – We never went in and replaced her paci… we just left it as it was. Later on when she was older, she’d put it back in herself. The key to CIO is to create the environment you want for your little one to sleep in and stick to it. All babies and kids need predictability and consistency. If you want her to sleep in your room, then she needs to learn how to fall asleep in that environment. It is too confusing to change the conditions and expectations for her. This is why when babies are rocked to sleep and then wake up in a different room or with no one there, they are scared and confused. The conditions are different than when they fell asleep. So, my advice is to discuss with the spouse and see what exactly you want the situation to be in the future and practice that now. Good luck!
It seems everytime I Google for advice and inspiration I end up here! Thank you for sharing your story. In December I bought the baby whisperer book. I spent a solid month following the schedule, routine and principles verbatim.
I guess I should explain my situation. We brought home our son end of September and I was prepared for sleepless nights. I planned on sleeping when he slept. To my shock, I brought home a cat napper. By the second week of being home, our son only napped for 30 minute intervals. I started reading and trying everything to get him to sleep better. Fast forward a few months and we had a strong case of accidental parenting. Bouncing, nursing to sleep, snacking every two hours and cosleeping. Well things went awry rather quickly. My beautiful perfect son wanted me or my husband to bounce him all night long.
When we first started whispering we were on a two hour routine of eat, activity, sleep. I learned a lot from the whispering and went straight to work on getting him on a three hour easy routine. I also followed the pick up/put down to extend his naps. I did this exhausting task for a month and still my boy will only sleep for 30 minutes. He wakes up happy and all smiles. I am exhausted and I just don’t think he is ready/wants to extend his naps. Now, my son is waking up every hour (sometimes every half an hour) and he us not hungry (only drinks an ounce) and I don’t know what to do.
So I have given up on the four hour easy. Also, it still takes me 15 minutes to soothe my baby to sleep. So finally, my question/plea for advice because you seem so knowledgable…
Any ideas on what kind of schedule I should have? For the last two days he’s awake for 1.5 hours (includes wind down) pu/pd for 15-30 minutes and 30 minute catnap.
I am seriously considering ferberizing (doc says its ok) because 1/3 of my day (and nights) are spent putting h to sleep…
Anne- Your little one is probably around 4 months or so right? If this is the case, then he should be on a 4-HR EASY routine or something similar to that. You may have to slowly stretch out the feeding times over the course of a week or two (tacking on a few minutes extra here and there to extend the time in between feeding) to get him back on track. Also, he may be going through a growth spurt if he’s eating more frequently. If you are still doing all the accidental parenting, my guess would be that he’s so dependent on those habits that he’s not sleeping well, napping well, eating well, etc. The question is if you are ready and want to Ferberize him. Your ped has given you the ok.. it’s just a matter if you want to try it out. Good luck on your decision!
Hi Noob Moomy, I have tried feberizing my baby for 7 days, and much improvement. No more, rocking, singing, and especially no pacifier at all, keeping her sleep longer. The first night, she cried 26 min, the next nap was more than 30 min and we have to end that nap, but now, only 2 or 3 min, but EVERYTIME. So I am wondering when to put her to her crip, when the first signs of sleepy occurs or when we wait until she is really sleepy. We often wait until she is fussy, so maybe that the reason why she still cries everytime for 2-3 mins. I am afraid that if I let her cries everytime like that, she will resist to go to bed. I always wish she loves bedtime, and like your baby, she can play in her crib but not cry before asleep. Many thanks for your advice!
Kylie- It’s great to hear you are having improvement with the Ferber method! The positive thing is to recognize that you are seeing shorter and shorter crying times and longer sleep stretches (without your help)! I’d say that you should put your little one to bed at a consistent earlier bedtime (between 7-8). If you wait until she’s really sleepy, she’ll probably be overtired and fussy. Not sure what bedtime you have right now, but make sure it’s not too late
Good luck!
Thank you for all your awesome info. It’s been our go-to… I have this page bookmarked and reference it bleary-eyed on my phone during our long sleep-training nights. We’ve also bought and devoured the Ferber book.
So, here’s our problem. Our now 5MO gal has always seemed to have a great initial sleep (although we rocked her and put her down asleep), but was up every half hour to hour after her first night waking (regardless of whether she ate or not). She no longer eats at night.
Currently, we’re on our second round of Ferber. We tried for about a week at 4 months after our ped recommended it to quell the repeated wakings and wean from the nighttime feeding. She did pretty well, then got sick. However, she did learn to fall asleep at the start of the night on her own w/o crying, but the night-waking (which had improved, but not disappeared) returned while she was sick. We didn’t do CIO while sick, instead rocked, soothed, brought her to our bed, etc. Now that she’s well, we’re into our second round of Ferber, night 8 or so. She slept through the night (7:45pm-6am) a couple nights early on, but has been waking at least twice at night for anywhere from 10-45 min the past two nights. We’ve been militant about her bedtime routine, she does fairly well w/naps, we’re obeying our time intervals. We just can’t figure out this sudden back-tracking and I’m now slightly terrified that this is how her sleep pattern will always be… A couple good nights, a couple bad ones. I just hate the idea of going through the pain of Ferber without the results we (really, desperately) want.
Did you guys experience back-tracking this late into the training? Is it too early to be freaking out? Will I ever stop being afraid of my baby monitor??