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I had my Yoga Booty Ballet preview class last night. It was a blast! My booty is totally crunked now. Fo sho. Like 100%.

Apparently YBB started out in Hollywood and quickly developed a celeb following. If you don’t have a class near you, they offer DVDs online. So here’s how the class went:

• 10 minute warm up with a little pre-meditation. Translation: Act like you’re not sizing up the other women while stretching neck from left to right. Feel grateful there are others who are already sweating during the warm up. Meditation: Wonder if baby is in bed yet. Pray baby is in bed. Ommmm…… make baby go to bed….. ommmm…..

• 30 minutes of cardio-dance. Translation: Curse the day you got knocked up and squeezed a human out or you. Sprinkle in some “gangsta moves” (True story. The instructor called it that.) and some “luscious” body rolls and booty shakes. Thank God there weren’t seniors in the class. Then wish there were seniors in the class. Would pay extra for that.

• 10 minutes of ballet. My favorite part just because I used to take ballet, and it was a sick, torturous reminder of how fit I used to be. And again, curse the day I got knocked up and pushed a human out of me.

• 10 minutes of yoga/meditation/relaxation. Translation: When they tell you to bring a yoga mat to class, don’t bring a bath towel as a substitute. Or, you will spend this portion of class surfing the wood floors:

“meditating” on the prospects of breaking your neck:

and whatever residual coolness you thought you still had left… is finally sucked out of you.

But, that’s what makes working out so good right? You get beat up, and you go crawling back for more next week.