Just so you know, adults do reside in this house. You can kind of spy evidence of an adultish coffee table there in the background (yeah, that sad little brown thing cowering in front of the miniature armchair … which by the way, we don’t even own a full-sized adult armchair. But I digress.).

For a long time now, I’ve fought a futile battle against the Toys hoping to keep them contained to the outskirts of our home. Well, at some point you have to retreat and take cover behind the Legos, dolls, and piles of shiny plastic food and wave the white flag. Admit defeat and crawl away with your ego deflated and dragging behind you.

It’s time I accept that I’m not going to have anything chic or remotely classy in this house until Noob Baby is sizing up her college roommate for the first time. Until then, I guess I’ll have to let the art easel sublet in our dining room. Does anyone know how to disguise this thing to look like abstract art?

And if you’ve got an idea how to hide the wasteland of toys, I’d love to hear about it. Noob Daddy is resisting the storage ottoman solution, but I think that’s probably the best strategy to reclaim some of the warzone that was once our family room. Something like this perhaps?

Is this the weapon that will defeat the Toys? It's got some dignity.

Let me just add that if you’re in baby stuff limbo … meaning that you’ve got all of Noob #1′s stuff but can’t donate it all yet because of the possibility of Noob Part Deux, well … your life, garage, home, closets, and all livable space look like complete mayhem. It’s all gotta stay … JUST IN CASE (baby #2 loves dejected toys and stained onesies).

It’s toy purgatory and clutter hell.

But if there’s one thing you should know about this noob mommy, it’s that I’m not going down without a fight.

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