Nap Town – Solicitors Will Be Asked to Shut the Hell Up

The one thing more important than Noob Baby sleeping through the night, is NB sleeping through the nap! Or, so I’m told by all these infant sleep experts I’ve read. Nap is the Holy Grail. Nap is more valuable than your life or mine. In fact, Nap in its purest form, can only be traded for unicorn horn dust. So, I ask… when it’s either 9ish, 12:30ish, or 4-5ish, please kindly turn off your cellphones, put your car in neutral, {Read More}

First Halloween

…and just like that… Noob Baby’s first Halloween is already over. Whew! And what a day it was. Note to self: Don’t schedule baby shots the day before a holiday, particularly ones that require dressing up in anything besides a Onesie; or before a day in which Noob Baby is going to visit Daddy at work and requires Super Baby behavior. Well, to give her credit, she did great today considering she was running a 101 fever pretty much the {Read More}

Dear Hair

Dear Hair, I’m sorry. Please just hear me out. I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I never thought we’d have any problems with our relationship so soon, I mean, it’s only been 28 years (give or take). But now I see that the baby–the pregnancy–was just too hard on you. I realize that now, and I pray it’s not too late for us. Just give me another chance, Hair. Things have been feeling so cold and bare without you…..especially {Read More}

Feeding 101 – from the Baby Whisperer

This very helpful feeding table is summarized from The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg. It is designed for a baby who weighs 6-6 1/2 lbs. or more at birth, and assumes your baby doesn’t have any digestive or neurological problems. For preemies, use their developmental age. The First 3 Days Bottle-feeding: 2 oz. every 2 hours (between 16 and 18 oz. total) Breast-feeding: 1st day – 5 min. at each breast (all day, whenever baby wants); {Read More}

Red Alert – Baby Sleeping on Tummy!

Just when I thought the coast was clear, and I could finally stop neurotically pressing my baby monitor button every 2 minutes…Noob Baby threw down her Miss Unpredictable card again. Similar to many babies, she is not the biggest fan of tummy time. Essentially, it pisses her off to the core. Most of the time, she ends up on her tummy by accident…and she hasn’t quite learned to get herself back on her back. So she’ll be laying there splat {Read More}

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