Then as time passed, Noob Baby was compelled to stretch out her limbs and see what else the world had to offer (and apparently, the world only offers dangling bug creatures).

Feeling unsatisfied with the confines of her play place, Noob decided to make a break for it. Luckily, it was easy for her to hop the unpatrolled wall.

Or should I say, the poorly patrolled wall.

Seeing as she was itching to get the hell out of Dodge so badly, we thought maybe, just maybe, the jumperoo would squelch her journey for now.

So much for that. On to Plan B:
Allow Noob Baby to run around in circles at dangerously high speeds. (It is scientifically proven that this causes the sensation of moving forward and traveling great distances).

Her will was too strong. She couldn’t be fooled. So, Noob pleaded and begged. “It’s my destiny,” she reasoned in a wistful voice. All she wanted was to spread her wings, cover more ground, conquer/terrorize more territory.

How could we deny her?
Or could we???

So, Noob went from bouncy seat to play place to jumperoo to around-we-go to …. jail. We thought Jail would definitely buy us a good couple months before we had to suck it up and baby-proof the place already.

Well, it looks like Noob Baby’s Manifest Destiny can no longer be stifled. As of this week, she is a walker. Her westward expansion continues. On foot.

And instead of baby-proofing, I’ve decided just to give her the keys to the place and charge her rent. Well, wouldn’t you?