Seriously though, doesn’t this diet sound sort of like your baby’s diet? It would be pretty cool if Noob Baby and I had dueling highchairs.

Ok, that was totally inappropriate. My head should not be superimposed on NB’s body.
Forget you ever saw this image.

Why is it that when I’m puking and lopping around in a perpetual state of nausea, I am still capable of being hungry? Is it the multiple stomach thing? I can’t stop thinking about all the things I want to devour when I’m better. Here are just a few items from my wish list:

• Pizza (preferably the Combo from Costco)
• Cheeseburger
• Fries
• Tacos
• Hot Cheetos (only because Noob Daddy was eating those yesterday)
• Steak and Baked Potato

Does anyone know if these items come wrapped together or anything? Like in one huge burrito or pita pocket? That would make eating them all so much easier.

Which reminds me, have you seen this SNL sketch from a few years back?

Surprisingly, no sweets. Most definitely a Noob Mommy first. Oh, and you know how some people say that the stomach flu is a sure thing when it comes to “dieting.” Turns out I am a sure exception when it comes to this rule!

My weight loss (after subsisting on crackers, rice and 7-Up) for the past 4 days: 1 lb

Not that I was trying to lose weight of course.

My predicted weight gain after consuming wish list: 15 lbs.

I’m just sayin.