Upstanding Baby Sleeps Through the Night, Causes Mom to Seek Therapy

NB2.0 struggles to comprehend her incarceration after having received the citizenship award for Most Upstanding Baby just moments before.

I hate to admit it, but I’m kind of superstitious.

And I’m pretty sure there’s a superstition that says you’re not supposed to go bragging about how great things are going with your 5-month-old. Because that means my amazing baby, who is sleeping through the night, is suddenly going to cease all amazing activity and wake up every hour from now on, right?

Well, sucks to that superstition, I say.

{Throwing salt over my shoulders}

{Making sign of the cross}

{Pardon me while I search for some wood to knock on}

NB2.0 has been such an easy-going, no-fuss baby that I thought it was time she get some credit for her upstanding behavior.

I don’t know if it’s the youngest child kinda thing, but she certainly knows how to be low key. I think she’s already figured out that Big Sis requires ungodly amounts of energy to sustain. So NB2.0’s only option is to just…. chillax. Become a wallflower. Just be.

Also, I think God might have realized that the Noob household really needed a Zen Master to counterbalance the Gab Master. If I had a nickel for every word spoken by NB during the day, this economic recession would be ON ME, folks. 16 trillion dollar deficit? I GOT IT.

So, a few weeks ago NB2.0 started sleeping through the night. This happened about the same time she learned to flip onto her tummy. It was one of those totally illogical and cruel situations where I was jolted awake every hour out of sheer terror. I’d wake up in a cold sweat and scream, “OMG! SIDS!” Theoretically, I should have been enjoying that extra sleep. But instead, it was like a blessed curse.

I was in her room checking her breath with a mirror. When I wasn’t feeling her pulse, I had to poke her just to be sure. Then I’d lift and drop her chubby little arms just to make TRIPLE sure she was, indeed, only sleeping. At one point, I may have submerged her fingers in a bowl of warm water to make her pee. And, I kid you not… I’d use the baby monitor’s intercom feature to call her name so she’d startle awake.

{Intercom clicks}

NB2.0, this is God speaking, are you awake…awake…awake….?

What is wrong with me??

The better she slept, the more I had to watch the baby monitor. I was stalker-creepin my baby. If Noob Daddy were to wake up, he’d see me maniacally crouched over the baby monitor with it’s screen eerily illuminating my haggard face at 12 am, 1 am, 2 am,  3 am, etc.

I’m just not used to having a child who can sleep. On her own. Through the night. Without being sleep trained first.

Did somebody say baby cleavage?

Ok, flash forward to today. I think I’m finally able to accept my good fortune. Enough time has passed that I can say it’s not just a fluke. And I’m going to attribute all this amazingness to a few factors.

  • Maybe it’s because I did my time. I put in all the physical man hours of bouncing my firstborn to sleep and waking every hour to put her back to sleep. Therefore, I’ve been excused this time around. I think there’s a rule somewhere that says you only get excused every other time, so that’s it, folks. No more babies.
  • I’ve learned. That’s the kinda cool thing about being a parent the second time around. I’ve learned not to set myself up for those same noob mistakes such as bouncing the baby to sleep!
  • I’ve relaxed. When you have other children in the house who also need attention, you realize it’s ok for the baby to cry a bit. She’ll be just fine. In fact, my next post is going to be about how important it is to wait and observe before rushing to your crying baby.
  • NB2.0 is just an easygoing baby and we lucked out.

People often ask if having two kids is harder. Well, It’s a lot more work. It’s a lot more coordination and multitasking. And a lot more man-on-man defense. If you’ve got a pretty awesome partner in crime like I do, all the better. But thankfully, you learn the ropes.

And you learn to put the first kid to work.

Upstanding Baby for President 2012


  1. 11

    My baby does the same thiing, he’s been sleep through the night for over a month now (he’s 4 months today) and when I say sleeping through the night I mean 8pm to 7-8:30am. I did absolutly nothing to make this happen, he is just the most relaxed/chill baby. One night I decided to put him in his crib when he was just drowsy and turn on his sound machine to see if he would go to sleep on his own and he did and it keeps working (knock on wood), sometimes he doesn’t even require the sleep machine. This is my first baby and I keep waiting for his calm/relaxed awesomness to stop but it hasn’t…I am so worried my second baby will make up for how easy and amazing this one is!!!

  2. 12
    eager to sleep says:

    dream feed time……..fingers crossed

  3. 13
    eager to sleep says:

    I’m anxiously awaiting the post about not rushing in to the crying baby . It seems sometimes it makes things worse when I do so I’ll try and wait it out to see if he puts himself back to sleep but then by the time I get in there he’s fully awake and in a fit . btw my babe is 3 months on Sunday . Is he just too young to expect to sleep more than 11/2- 2 hr stretches? I plan on doing Dr Ferber method at 4 months and just put him on the whisperer schedule (not so much the shhh/pat). We seem to find it better to let him fall asleep on our shoulder because the over the shoulder pat on the back and no rocking thing seems to calm him well, just not well enough to put him down before he’s asleep . I just can’t wait to get a good 5-6 hrs of sleep!!!!

  4. 14

    NB2.0 is pretty incredible! I think she was born with her parents’ relaxed attitude, rather than following in her auntie’s footsteps like NB. 😉 Thanks for sharing all of these wonderful noob experiences. (I’m taking notes.)

  5. 16

    CONGRATS!!! That is awesome! Our son picks the days he wants to sleep through the night… not always every night… he has been going down at 7 and he wakes up at like 4:45ish… Should I not feed him his am bottle at that time? Should I let him cry/wine? I wish he would sleep till 6am!!! Is it possible to train them to do that? hahaha! Thanks!

  6. 17

    Still, you are crackin me up! Well, my first talked (talks) incessantly, my second was quiet (but is making up for it now with whining), and my 6 1/2 month old?? Sleeping through the night at 5 months like 4 year old bro… Oldest, alas, was and still is a non sleeper, but I was so worried that third would be like first..but.he is super calm and amiable and goes along with the gang. Good luck! Cute pictures!

  7. 18

    This is such a funny post! I am about to have my second baby in two months and hope for an easy going one like you have! Just enjoy it! :) She is SOOOOO cute by the way, love the pictures!

  8. 19
    Bug's Mama says:

    You get partial credit for my full nights of sleep, as well. After a growth spurt, an infected ingrown toenail, a round of antibiotics and a cold, 5-month-old Bug is back to her sleep-trained self. I thought it would be hard to get her back into the swing of things, but we started last Friday and she just had a couple times where she woke up around 5:00 but never really got going, and put herself back to sleep. Now she’s back to sleeping from 7:45 to about 6:45. I wish she didn’t need a post-daycare nap though. This mama doesn’t get nearly enough time with her during the day!

  9. 20

    Thank you for posting this! You are not alone. I am still trying to get my 6 month old baby boy to sleep through the night, and thought I had succeeded nearly two months ago. Alas, I was wrong. It is getting better, every night, but I usually have to ‘top him off’ at about 11pm and then he may or may not wake again somewhere between 3am and 5am for more cuddles and/or milk. My other half is AWESOME and tries to put the baby back to sleep before I offer him milk. Thankfully, our baby started to take naps in his crib during the day which definitely helped, but that too was not an easy feat, given he has twin (nearly) 3yr old sisters to compete with for our attention! LOVE YOUR BLOG; Thanks for keeping it REAL! xo

  10. 21

    I 100% related to this post! Haha I have a 5 month old right now who is a great sleeper. But it took a long time because I too am a baby bounce to sleeper. (He is our first) And like you I have learned that it is probably not a good idea to bounce my baby to sleep for the first 5 months of his life…..but it was so fun to do when he was little and I got addicted. Now he weighs 18 pounds and it is a little trickier to bounce him to sleep without getting arms worthy of a body building competition :)

    LOVE your blog. You always make me smile.

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