The 3 Kinds of Preschoolers

According to Noob Baby’s teacher there are three kinds of first-day preschoolers:

  1. The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle and not one look back (aka Adios Mother Effer).
  2. The one who rips the window treatments off the walls and cries enough to break levies (aka The Hurricane).
  3. The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle, and then realizes three weeks later that this ain’t no playdate. Cue The Hurricane. (aka Calm Before The Storm)

So my question is, when Noob Baby walks into her very first day of preschool today… which one will she be? Just look at this mug and cast your votes. Seriously. I’d love to hear your predictions.

Noob Preschooler circa age 3

My sister asked me how I was going to celebrate my first day as a “free woman.” I probably should have lied and made up something fabulous (“fabulous” used incredibly incredibly loosely here) so as not to deter her from ever wanting to have children. Oh, you know… I’m going to get a mani, pedi, massage and then go on a romantic lunch date with the hubby. 

But… I was too lazy to lie. So I gushed (with way too much giddiness in my voice), I’m gonna clean the garage!

And that, my friends, was the sound of my dentures fizzing in a cup. I’ve got a kid in preschool and I’m excited to clean the garage. This is my life.


Dear Noob Baby,

One day when you look back at what was supposed to be a truly meaningful post about your first day of preschool, please forgive Mommy for being a hot mess and blabbering like a baboon. 



P.S.  Have an amazing first day of preschool!! I miss you already :)



  1. 7

    I give you major props for keeping up w/ your blog! I just stumbled across my own blog because I googled my name lol. How pathetic is that?! And, of course, while looking thru old posts and watching videos of my now 3 1/2 yr old, I saw you were the last one to blog in my blog roll.

    You do not disappoint! I LOL’d about dentures fizzing in a cup! Love it! Thanks for the laugh and I would have to guess that she’s going to be the calm before the storm. Keep us posted!

  2. 9

    You make me laugh, Noob Mommy! Dentures fizzing in a cup! What a mental picture. I’m totally that way, though, I take days off when BooBoy still has to be in preschool, so that I can clean or run errands, etc. No way to do the heavy lifting when he’s underfoot.

    Though, I think he’s a #1, mostly because he’s been in daycare/preschool since he was 6 weeks old. Does that count? We still have “cling to the legs” moments some days.

  3. 10

    Total AMEfr! You can see it in her eyes! My daughter is the same way….cut from the same cloth! Good luck! I’d be all giddy to clean the garage too, but alas I’m expecting #2 in 6 weeks and I’m so tired that I think I’ll just sleep the morning away when I drop off my daughter at preschool 😉

  4. 11

    I agree – AMFer for sure! I’m surprised there isn’t a 4th type? The one who doesn’t march in and clings to mommy’s leg (aka No Effing Way!). My daughter is just two and I’m already planning to bring a crow bar for use on the first day – she’s so shy!

  5. 13

    Oh yeah! My vote is also for Adios Mother Effer!

  6. 14

    I think she will be the “Adios Mother Effer!” I can’t wait to hear if I’m right. Either way, good luck!

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