According to Noob Baby’s teacher there are three kinds of first-day preschoolers:
- The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle and not one look back (aka Adios Mother Effer).
- The one who rips the window treatments off the walls and cries enough to break levies (aka The Hurricane).
- The one who marches into class with a grin and a whistle, and then realizes three weeks later that this ain’t no playdate. Cue The Hurricane. (aka Calm Before The Storm)
So my question is, when Noob Baby walks into her very first day of preschool today… which one will she be? Just look at this mug and cast your votes. Seriously. I’d love to hear your predictions.
My sister asked me how I was going to celebrate my first day as a “free woman.” I probably should have lied and made up something fabulous (“fabulous” used incredibly incredibly loosely here) so as not to deter her from ever wanting to have children. Oh, you know… I’m going to get a mani, pedi, massage and then go on a romantic lunch date with the hubby.
But… I was too lazy to lie. So I gushed (with way too much giddiness in my voice), I’m gonna clean the garage!
And that, my friends, was the sound of my dentures fizzing in a cup. I’ve got a kid in preschool and I’m excited to clean the garage. This is my life.
Dear Noob Baby,
One day when you look back at what was supposed to be a truly meaningful post about your first day of preschool, please forgive Mommy for being a hot mess and blabbering like a baboon.
P.S. Have an amazing first day of preschool!! I miss you already