Photo by Eflon
As you may already know, my go-to resource for many of my early parenting questions is Tracy Hogg’s book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. It was Hogg’s trademark EASY routine for infants that eventually made my chaotic rookie parenting days much more … “manageable.”
In a nutshell, EASY is simply structuring your baby’s day in this pattern: Eat. Activity. Sleep. Your time. *Repeat until the end of time* While it sounds like a pretty obvious routine for a baby (I mean what else is a lump of chub going to do), your brain just isn’t putting together any logic, rhyme or reason when it’s puttering on a few scrappy hours of sleep. Hence, a book that spells it out for you … in an easy to remember acronym no less, is pure genius.
But, genius can be pure madness as well. Genius can be evil, yes? Well, that’s certainly what I believed when the EASY routine suddenly became not so freakin easy. Give a teacher a schedule that she isn’t able to follow to the minute and what do you have? A pretty pissed off teacher with a dose of insecurity and a supersized helping of frustration.
As it turns out, it’s not just a teacher thing. It’s sort of an all around perfectionist parent kind of thing. I know this now because one of the most common emails I get is from frustrated parents who are desperately trying to incorporate EASY into their new life but cannot get their noob to follow the schedule. Why can’t babies read schedules and Thomas Guides and recipes and W-2‘s for for god’s sake?! If I had a nickel for everything a baby couldn’t read…
Anyway, back to the point. If you are one of the many frustrated parents out there who is smart enough to know your baby should be on a routine but can’t seem to get your baby on the same page, well this post is a shout out to you. Here it is. The most important advice to remember when incorporating EASY, or any routine for that matter, into your day to day parenting.
Be flexible. Be adaptable. Be like a ninja.
The Baby Whisperer offers EASY as a general guideline for how your baby’s day should look. Most parents, myself included, will get so caught up in the minutes and numbers that when things are not perfect, go totally spastic.
That’s when you need me, the concerned and slightly nosy outside party, to shake you by the shoulders and say … BE FLEXIBLE!
Your noob isn’t a textbook. Your noob isn’t a droid (but seriously, how cool would that be). Your baby has its own agenda, which guaranteed, isn’t the same as yours. So save yourself some gray hairs and just go with the flow. But make sure you are in control of where that is going.
Along those lines, here are some more tips to remember when applying EASY:
Be consistent and reasonably structured.
Eat-Activity-Sleep is a healthy, intuitive guideline to follow for infants. Note that it isn’t Eat-Sleep. I say this because I found myself struggling with this pattern a lot in the early months. I thought that’s how it worked with babies. For newborns, that’s fine. But after a month or so, your noob can stay awake long enough to people watch for half an hour or listen to your super high pitched baby talk. I’m going to write another post about why you shouldn’t let your noob fall asleep during a feeding. But for now, just remember that some mild activity like going for walk, staring at a toy or hearing some songs is all the activity infants need.
Keeping structure and routine is something all babies, kids, and frankly many adults need. That means having meals around the same time, reliable nap times (and not always in a car seat or in a stroller while you’re out running errands), and an early (7-7:30ish) bed time. Don’t expect your little one to sleep through the night or fall asleep like an angel if he’s going to bed at 9:30 some nights and napping on the road most days.
While I’m personally a stickler for predictability, I’m also realistic. I know that holidays (and visitors) will be a wash and some weekends you just want to stay out and enjoy some extra family time. Be flexible, but be structured. Do preserve the naps and bedtime as though they are sacred. Your noob needs that time to grow and develop.
Adapt the EASY times to your baby.
If your baby sleeps longer than you expect or wakes up earlier than you prayed for, adjust and adapt the best you can. If she’s sleeping into her next feeding time, don’t jump the gun and barge in on her beauty sleep. Unless she’s a preemie or has some special needs that your pediatrician is aware of, she’ll be fine. Use your best judgment. And remember that you know your noob better than anyone else. If nap time is going on for 4 hours, well yeah, you don’t want her wired at bedtime.
Some babies are really slow eaters, others are really efficient nursers. Adjust your feeding time as needed. Just remember, don’t get caught up on the minutes and numbers, it will make you feel like a failure. I know because that’s how I felt every time NB woke up from her nap 45 minutes later.
Now here’s my teacher shout out. Thinking back, I was lucky to have been trained to deal with surprises in our schedule. You learn to roll with the punches and be flexible. Hey, guess what … the library is closed today, you have an assembly that is half an hour longer than you expected, we’re on Rainy Day schedule, and the photo copier is broken. Merry Effin Christmas.
I’ll say it again (only to remind myself still, three years later) don’t try to be that perfect parent. Things won’t always turn out as you planned or expected, but that’s not always a bad thing either.
Now with those extra EASY tips out there, do you have some tips of your own about routines and schedules. Or just being a ninja? I’d love to know what your experience is with Tracy Hogg’s EASY routine. Leave me a comment or share your advice with other spastic noob parents like myself.
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I’m just trying to incorporate the EASY schedule with my 3 month old. I know some people say that’s a little early, but I really felt like he was craving some routine. And of course I was, too. We’re getting on pretty okay so far. Just as you’ve outlined above, I’ve learned it’s really important to go with the flow and non-stress over the numbers. I was trying everything I could think of to try to extend naptime – CIO, nursing and putting back down, just patting and shushing… I’ve come to realize that what he wants is a 30 minute nap 1.5 hours after waking in the morning, following by a long 2 or 3 hour nap mid-day, and another hour in the late afternoon.
One thing I’m struggling with is the nursing…. Right now it is more like an ESAEY routine. Looks like that should be the British version with the extra vowel, right? Anyway, I know he’ll sleep better if he goes down nice and full, so that’s how I got in this mess, but now, of course, I’m beginning to feel that he has become dependent on that last suckle for sleep. So… that’s the next new goal to tackle I guess.
All in all, we are seeing good progress with the EASY approach. We went from no naps and just screaming all day…. everyday…. to finally some structure and predictability. It’s not perfect, but it’s better.
Haley – Thanks for sharing your EASY experience. I think one of the most common habits is nursing to sleep. It’s just so hard not to do that. Glad to hear that you have some structure and predictability in your day!
I don’t really set a schedule until after 1yr. The first year I mainly let them set it and follow their cues and as they get closer to their 1st birthday start setting a schedule for them. The only thing that I really have set with baby girl is afternoon nap at the same time as my big boy takes his nap (that way I can get stuff done and get some me time) and bed time. I started off letting baby girl (and my son when he was a baby) fall asleep while nursing. She still does from time to time, but is growing out of that (she’s 9months). If she’s really tired and hungry she usually falls asleep, but most of the time now she’s still awake when I put her to bed. I also don’t pay much attention to time when nursing. My son would chug and be done in 5 minutes each side some days. Baby girl is the opposite and takes her time.
I read this book and On Becoming Babywise (oh, and about a million other books) and had great success with implementing the eat/activity/sleep routines described in both. I think I did a Babywise/Whisperer mash-up. This was counter-intuitive to what I thought going into mommyhood: I assumed I would nurse to sleep, but after a couple weeks of seeing it in action, I understood why. It wasn’t so much getting on a time schedule, but getting into a pattern. For me and my DD anyway, the predictably of this FLEXIBLE routine helped produce a great sleeper and alert baby (now 2). I would also agree that flexibility should be stressed (see my ALL CAPS) since – it’s your baby, not a DVR that you program. I too, got caught up in the clock at times, trying to troubleshoot 15 minutes here and there. I had to remind myself that if I was hungry or awake 15 minutes earlier than normal, would it be such a big deal? No, of course not. But for an infant 15 minutes (or even 5 minutes!)of extra awake time can be a big deal, so that’s how you wind up going down that road of dreaming of schedules, clocks, spreadsheets, etc., whirling through space (true story
. I found that if I focused on the e/w/s or EASY pattern let the actual times be a little fuzzy it helped me roll with the punches and find my inner ninja, so to speak 
I think a Babywise/Babywhisperer mash up is the perfect route! I have read bits and pieces of Babywise and I plan on going back to reread for “research” or because I’m just that dorky … but it sounds like you are a total ninja!
Hi Noob Mummy,
I’m the proud Mum of a 3-week old son and was given The Baby Whisperer by my sister-in-law.
I had a bit of a meltdown with it around 10 days ago when my perfectionist self decided I was an abject failure because I couldn’t see how my 10 day old baby was going to be able to get into a routine in time to impress my in-laws who were coming for tea the following weekend. So, I really appreciate your common-sense, down-to-earth attitude and the advise of so many of your posters here. As my parental confidence grows I find that I’m deciding that a routine based strictly on times and numbers isn’t going to suit us for several months. However I’m starting to work some of the principles of the book, such as separating Feed and Sleep, and using Shush/Pat. To be honest it is just nice to have some skills up my sleeve…
Thanks for writing about all this parenting stuff. Your attitude makes me feel so much calmer and better about the road ahead.
Thanks Catriona for the kind words! Congrats on your noob. For someone with a 3 week old, you sound like you are informed and totally on top of things
And when you’re not, that’s ok!! It’s hard for fellow perfectionists to let go a little and not interpret everything as personal failure or weakness, right? Hope to see you around here regularly!
hi there!
we follow a 3hr EASY with our 2.5 month old with some ajastments. i m a strong beleiver in taking the baby for walk practically every day but since we leave in texas and it is extremly hot here during the summer, the only some what sutable time for the walks is after 7pm.
so our EASY in the evening would typically be
7pm- feed
7:30-8:30 – walk
8:30-bath massage
9pm – feed and to bed
the problem is that she doesn’t sleep through the night. she wales up around 3am
for feeding since i can’t make her take the dream feed.
after 3am feed she would usually wake up around 5:30am-6am.
i would love to here any advise on how to make my lo sleep throught the night.
what should i change in the schedule?
is going to bed at 9ish causes the problem?
thank you
Tami – I’d definitely shoot for an earlier bedtime. I feel for you and the crazy humid Texas weather! Is it possible to get out early (right after the morning feed for some air) instead of the evening walk? Or you may just need to push it to an early evening walk. I strongly believe that earlier bedtimes equal more well-rested babies. And surprisingly, they will sleep better and longer more often than not. I’d give that a shot and see how she adjusts to an earlier (7:30-8:00) bedtime. She may also adjust herself when she hits around 3 months to hold more in her tummy. When she wakes up at 3, is she eating well or just snacking? If she’s just snacking out of habit and not truly hungry, then it can be a habitual wake up. If she’s eating well for that feed, then she probably just needs the nutrients as her tummy can’t hold so much quite yet. Good luck!
I have a question about NAPS on the EASY. Is it more important to get the naps in, or where she naps? We have been trying to get her to nap in her crib but now she isn’t napping (no more than 20 min) where as if i swaddle and put her in the swing she goes right down. So should I get the naps in or get her in the crib??? The EAS part is fine its just getting the actual sleep in during the day.
Also I am unable to get her a dream feed, should we wake her up at 1030/11 and feed her or let her wake up at 1/2 to feed.
Michaela – I’d say that getting the naps in is more important. How old is your noob? If she’s just a few months old, you can worry about transitioning her to the crib later on. If she’s already 3 months +, then you do want to think about getting her accustomed to her crib. I understand that at just a couple months, you need your break and rest time, which means swaddling, swinging, sucking (pacifier), sound (white noise) etc. to get our little ones to sleep. As for the dream feed, you can give it a try if you’d like or wake up at 1/2. I tried the dream feed and it never sank in. It wasn’t a big deal though. Good luck!
I don’t know how I found the Baby Whisperer when I had my first 2 years ago but she practically saved my sanity! I could never really figure out why Sarah was crying until I read that book and immediately put Sarah on the EASY routine. Within a week Sarah had adjusted to it, cried less, and when she did cry I immediately knew why (i.e. oh, you’re hungry, hm, you’ve been up for a while, now you’re tired.) I LOVED this book and really enjoyed reading your take on it. Now that #2 is here and starting to grow out of his colic I found your site and love your cheat sheet on the EASY routine. I’m your newest follower!
Natalie – Thank you so much and very glad to have you here on the blog! I also found the predictability of a routine such a relief after months of questioning and frustration. I am also going to have #2 in a few months… so we’ll see if the Baby Whisperer proves lucky again
Thanks for your comment!