30 for my 30

For the last couple days, I’ve been thinking about writing a different kind of post to commemorate my birthday today. This birthday in particular has vexed me. Can you guess which number it is? I’ll give you a couple hints:

1. I just purchased this:

2. Which was subsequently followed by this:

3. And then this:

Ok, smartypants. You probably guessed that I turned 30 today. But, no worries. I’m not even breaking a sweat. CLEARLY I’m totally unphased by this milestone. You might even go so far as to say I’m COMPLETELY comfortable and confident in my own skin.

Well, I thought it might be fun *more youthful* … if I shared 30 FASCINATING things about myself for this birthday blog post. So *drumroll* please.

I bring you…

The Noob Mommy 30

[things that may or may not be fascinating but are going on this list anyway]

1.  It takes me way too long to write a blog post. An inordinate amount of time. In fact, if you knew how long it took you’d immediately unsubscribe and demand a refund.

2.  I love fonts. Obsessed with fonts. I have so many loaded up onto my machine that when I scroll through, it gives my computer an embolism. My favorite font? Anything that looks casual and classy.

3.  I love gardening. I love plants, flowers, and just watching things grow and go through the cycle of life. I’m looking to have more ivy and geraniums, as well as veggies and herbs. Is it summer yet?

4.  I have a foot thing. Whoa… whoa… I can explain. It’s not like a fetish or anything! Jeez. Who do you think I am??! But seriously. I can’t stand when people have nailpolish on their toes that resemble the Polynesian islands or any other scattered land mass for that matter. I’m extreme like that. As far as nailpolish goes, it’s either all there or completely bare. No in between please. And I’m not even going to get started on cracked feet.

5.  Ok, actually… the foot thing deserves another place on this list: talons. Talons only belong on endangered birds. Now, that’s all I have to say about that.

6.  I almost went into television news before teaching. I turned away two job offers at news stations after I graduated from college. There were a couple reasons why I decided to do so, but I don’t regret the decision at all.

7.  My choice of airplane beverage: Ginger Ale. Oh, and speaking of airports … I always have to pick up some magazines at the airport store. It’s a ritual.

8.  I am very anti-social. I feel completely awkward 70% of the time, and it is really difficult for me to meet new people or even keep in touch with my closest friends. Therefore, I am 200% 300% grateful for my closest friends for putting up with me and accepting me for who I am.

9.  My sister and I are 5 years apart, but we believe we are long lost twins. If she were to have her own blog, it would be the young, sassy, single version of mine but actually funny. (See #1 about refunds.)

10.  I wish I was doing a better job at speaking to Noob Baby in Mandarin. No excuses.

11.   I have a thing for books. And yes, this time I mean fetish. The smell, the colors, words, illustrations, pages… (you’re going to have to excuse me for a moment :))

12.  I love ice cream.

13.  I live for pizza.

14.  Or vice versa.

15.  I was once an extra in the movie Jawbreaker. You can actually see me in one of the scenes. My claim to fame.

16.  I suck at budgeting. I mean seriously S-U-C-K. They invented the credit card for me. I’m going to talk to someone about creating a Noob credit card. But instead of rewards points, they just explode when you max out.

17.  I believe food should be the 8th deadly sin. It can be a source of joy, pleasure, communication, expression, connection, creation, imagination, and destruction. That makes it a sin, but a damn tasty sin.

18.  I’m thinking you’re bored right now.

19.  I’m sleepy and I wish I had just turned 19 so I would be done by now.

20.  I always cut Noob Baby’s hair. Last time I gave her a mullet (by accident). I’m ashamed.

21.  I miss traveling. It’s something I live for. When people have the means to travel and don’t, I feel frustrated and angry. My feelings on this matter are best  summarized in this quote:

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.  ~St. Augustine

(Refer to #11 about books)

22.  I think Noob Daddy is my #1 lurker. The day he posts a comment, well… let’s just say someone’s gonna get really freakin lucky.

23.  I know 23 to be a prime number. I was a teacher, remember?

24.  If Amazon.com were to go out of business, I would probably have to kill myself. Or, never purchase anything again… which is kinda like the same thing.

25.  Is it weird to get butterflies in your stomach when you go to Costco? I do.

26.  I got married when I was 26. Noob Daddy and I had never lived together, and I think it was so worth the wait.

27.  I just started making my own earrings. I need to get back to that, but I also need to read a bazillion books and think of 3 more “fascinating” facts about myself.

28.  I’m not sure if I’ll go back to teaching after I’m done pumping out the noobs. There’s just a lot that I would love to do. And also, I just said “pumping out the noobs,” which some might consider unteachery.

29.  My two most recent girl crushes are P!nk and Kim Yu-Na (the figure skating gold medalist). I can’t stop watching P!nk’s Grammy performance and Kim Yu-Na’s free skate. I cry every time. WTF?? PMS a little?

30.  It makes my day when someone posts a comment. It freakin blows my mind when I get emails from readers that like my blog. I think my subscribers, commenters, and lurkers are all absolutely fabulous. Thank you and good night.


  1. 15

    Your pages are fantastic. Your humor makes my ribs tickle. 
    As a mother of 3 (the youngest is 2 months, the oldest is 17), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping to keep me sane. Bless you!

  2. 16

    hahaha i found this blog when i searched the baby whisperer for a friend. then i started lurking and read this…
    SINCE WHEN AM I NOT THE ONLY OTHER PERSON TO SAY TALONS (when referring to someones feet.) haha seriously, awesome!
    i’ll definitely keep reading, as i am currently noob preggo, soon to be a noob mommy. bring on the tips 😉

  3. 17

    Happy be-lated birthday! Your 30 was 4 days earlier than mine..

  4. 18

    #20 made me laugh out loud. Fo’ Reals.

    By the way – I just found your site because I was looking for something on the EASY method, and I’m so glad I did. Turns out I was already getting my 5 week old on a schedule, but I was comforted to find your blog explaining what it was in a way that sounded friendly and realistic and not just “do it because a book told you to”..

    Thanks Noob Mommy!

  5. 19

    Happy Birthday Noob Mommy! You also make my day with your posts.

  6. 20

    PS… I am all the way in Egypt reading your blog, so you are international! I wish wish wish there was a Costco or Target here. I would even settle for a Ralph’s, Cannot wait to get back to Cali! Hopefully only a few more years here…. Imalso turning 30 this year and started using the Oil of Olay too, if that doesnt help Im on to botox,,,,

  7. 21

    I am a noob mommy and a noob lurker…. love your blog! Thanks for spending way toooo much time blogging all the great stuff you share with us!!!!!!!!! Very helpful and funny! XOXO
    Happy Birthday!

  8. 22

    Happy Birthday!!!! Love reading your blog :) My 30th (am now 32) was the best – I love the 30’s – so much more stable than the 20’s! As far as the anti-aging skin stuff, the key is exfoliation, exfoliation, exfoliation (everyday), and of course sunscreen 😉 But my grandma did the Oil of Olay stuff and looked awsome too…

  9. 23
    Stephanie says:

    Hey Noob Mommy, SO glad you are back. Love reading your blog. And my grandmother would totally give you a high-five for getting an early start on all the special creams! She swears by that stuff. She’s 74 and looks fantastic.

  10. 24

    Yes, please blog more!! I love your writing style and love reading your stuff :)

  11. 25

    I am a long time lurker. Love, love your blog. Happy Birthday!

  12. 26

    I totally agree with the amazon thing if they went out of business I wouldn’t know how to function

  13. 27

    Love it! You are absolutely hysterical…I’ll be celebrating the big 30 in 2 months and thinking which Olay cream to go with! Ha! Keep the posts coming, love them!

  14. 28

    Hey Noob Mommy (aka long-lost twinsicle)….thanks for the shout-out! Love the post. Happy birthday again…you’re all grown up now 😉

  15. 29

    Hi Noob Mommy!
    Thanks for sharing your 30 fascinating facts! I myself am turning 35 this month. Ack!! I’m not sure why 35 is scaring the heck outta me, but it’s way worse than turning 30 was!!

    P.S. I heart Costco, too!!!

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