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Tall? Grande? Milk or Lemon? Del Scorcho or Inferno? Drugs or No Drugs….
Hell, it’s 2008…I’d like a Tall Decaf Vanilla Latte with a shot of Epidural…yeah i said decaf…I’m having a baby here!
For those of you wondering what it’s going to be like to get that Epidural….two words…God’s Miracle. Worth every penny.
When the doctor told me I should go to the hospital, my contractions were 10 minutes apart. From everything I had read, I figured I shouldn’t even get my bag ready till the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Well, we grabbed our hospital bags that had been sitting in our bedrooms collecting dust for several weeks, and headed to the hospital. Finally, the BIG DAY!
My contractions were pretty painful, like very intense cramps, but not unbearable. I was actually able to enjoy the peaceful car ride to the beach at around 10:30 pm. By the time I was in my L&D room, I really had to close my eyes and bust out some of those breathing techniques from parenting class. *Side Note: Unless you are planning to have a natural delivery, those breathing classes really aren’t worth the time. I’ll explain later…*
Well, about an hour after I had settled into my delivery bed, been wired up to all kinds of heavy machinery, and changed into that horrible hospital gown, the anesthesiologist was ready to get my Epidural going. The process wasn’t painful and quite quick actually. I definitely have to give credit to the doctor….I think he was pretty skillful. Barely 10 minutes later, I could no longer feel my contractions. I could tell something was happening if I paid close attention to my body, but really I had to watch the monitor to see the contractions. BLISS!
You know the Epidural is a sweet sweet glorious miracle when the nurses have to tell you when it’s time to push. Meanwhile, you’re like waking up from a cozy dream and wiping the drool off your face. After growing up and watching every movie and TV show with women screaming and punching out their husbands, I couldn’t believe how “uneventful” it was. Of course, I have to thank God for blessing us with that fortune. But you know what I mean… There was no breaking of the water on my best friend’s wedding shoes at church or anything.
Well, the pushing part is all coached by your OB and nurses at that point since you can’t even feel the contractions. So, like I mentioned above…those La Maz breathing strategies are good for the first part before you get your Epidural. But really, kinda hokey. And remember those Kegels? Not the muscle you’ll use during labor AT ALL! Those are good for recovery…but as for pushing out the baby….imagine you’re pushing out a bad burrito baby…yeah…that muscle.
Last comment….I asked for the big mirror during my delivery. Sounds weird, I know. But I totally recommend it. At first I thought it would help with pushing. But then it was just amazing…seeing the crown of your baby’s head emerge. It’s truly God’s little miracle when you see your baby crying before she’s even out of your body. When you’re watching your own body, it doesn’t feel weird like those birthing videos..trust me.